poemranker ::Invisible too by horus8

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Free verse № 6980

Invisible too

by horus8

Member since 2002 · Posted 31 Jul 2002 · Edited 11 Mar 2003 · 19 comments

Overcast was the climate. Uncolored was the day. She is leaning on the headstone. The markers of memories. The single rose spins, nauseously. In the month of Shivat her face is tawny. I am assuming that she senses my presence. But assumption has not a spine, nor a structure. Along with the cemetery breeze; is a stowaway, a very interesting -- intruder. Compelling the lilac. Divorcing the snapdragon. The slit of her dress is long. Her leg is pulling at the hazel of my eyes. The rough of my tongue, on the smooth of her thigh. To make my approach is all that's left. Finishing this over-imagined conversation should help make things -- right. Here I am now. In front of them both. The stone is nameless, in the high-grass. Her knees cannot buckle, and I am being withheld, Incommunicado. Nothing resolved, we choose -- solitude.

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 7.27 weighted 6.14 rank 1079 views 339 View voting details →

11 votes so far. Yours would make 12.11 votes so far

19 comments

[8] x311 31-Jul-02/1:48 PM Reply
interesting. i don't really know which way to take it but this poem seems somewhat morbid in tone, at least to me. That's not bad--I actually enjoy it here.
[n/a] horus8 31-Jul-02/2:00 PM Reply
I am dead watching my mother visit the grave when she knows that know one will see her their. maybe there was some things left unmentioned..it's about the perfect hazy grey day and revenge through silence
[10] Sigh'ense... 31-Jul-02/2:03 PM Reply
This one's beuatiful. But is it you the timid admirer or her(a ghost against the headstone) who is invisible. Judging from your poetry its probably both... Da1, holla back
[10] Sigh'ense... 31-Jul-02/2:04 PM Reply
oh and i especially like the use of "left/right"... Very saucy.
[9] kawakurdi 31-Jul-02/2:12 PM Reply
This is perfect and beautiful, horus. I know you are rebellious and sombre most of the time [which is not uninteresting], but let us see your sober side too. I give you nine.
[n/a] horus8 31-Jul-02/2:13 PM Reply
actually in all good faith..not that i have faith..just saying. i never even noticed that until you just brought it up..intersting. a closer inspection could reveal the triscuit picnic. we'll see. magnify.lilac.tempest.snowman saves the day!a
[10] Sigh'ense... 31-Jul-02/2:19 PM Reply
Horus8 r u talking 2 me?
[9] kawakurdi 31-Jul-02/2:21 PM Reply
Or talking to me?!
[n/a] horus8 31-Jul-02/2:22 PM Reply
listen..kawakurdi..i am moved..but it's only a matter of time before 6dark6angel6 gets back from his lunch of fritos and snaps to carpet bomb this mother fucking, mother hugging vomit with an onslaught of trident missiles and screaming eagles with trumpets and gabriel and druel and osama and bombs and kittens and hemp lubricants..its only a matter of time. but i still feel slightly vaguely touched. you can hear on mp3 at gangbox.com..it has whales and techno drums it rubs me raw i hope you hate it. fuck shit.fuck i have to go to the store.smoke breal then re-edit phone tapclaptruelies.later
[n/a] horus8 31-Jul-02/2:26 PM Reply
i don't know am i. i thought i was just mumbling like brad in snatch. hold on my hoof is itching for the store.clive barker.hammock.backyard.cigarettep
[9] kawakurdi 31-Jul-02/2:36 PM Reply
I am glad you are still on the hoof.
[n/a] horus8 31-Jul-02/2:45 PM Reply
i am totally not on the 'hoof' i'm in the hammock with lap top bee-bop smoking and swinging..it's a precious afternoon and worth the flashbacks.californiahealsslow.but healsnone the less..the 'hoof'is just abeak180degr.. it also makes a fine foot darwinistictually speaking about every 10 million years ah...wasp..fuck'
[9] silentcat 31-Jul-02/2:58 PM Reply
very much a wow. 'assumption has not a spine'. wondermous.
[n/a] horus8 31-Jul-02/3:07 PM Reply
The plains of africa part 3) the lioness crouches and crawls closer to the sound. young gazelle nursing, suckling hears not the silent cat, and feeds on. pounce.tit-rip.blood.mother startled bounds awaying not looking back.will have another one. when the rain comes. off to her right she sees a pride of lions eating a dead rhino with shit on his heel. love comes seasonal but leaves flash flood!u
[n/a] Ranger 11-Mar-03/1:35 PM Reply
Nice. Wish I could say something more useful, but I've got to go. I'll try back tomorrow and see if I can be more helpful.
[5] wLeBlancw 11-Mar-03/8:38 PM Reply
Better than your other ones. Here's a 5. My favorite part of this poem was your use of Incommunicado. How brave and original you are!
[n/a] horus8 › wLeBlancw 12-Mar-03/2:11 AM Reply
Le Negro IV, Afros and pepsi.
[n/a] horus8 › wLeBlancw 12-Mar-03/2:13 AM Reply
I am bachus, horus, babba yag, shardik, and jeremi. you are the white! better get reading ricky! incommunicado or not. originality is your repeated use of noxema.
[10] INTRANSIT 12-Mar-03/7:35 AM Reply
Flip it he can rip it any style you want.