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Invisible too (Free verse) by horus8 Overcast was the climate.
Uncolored was the day.
She is leaning on the headstone.
The markers of memories.
The single rose spins, nauseously.
In the month of Shivat
her face is tawny.
I am assuming
that she senses my presence.
But assumption has not a spine,
nor a structure.
Along with the cemetery breeze;
is a stowaway, a very interesting --
intruder.
Compelling the lilac.
Divorcing the snapdragon.
The slit of her dress is long.
Her leg is pulling at the hazel of my eyes.
The rough of my tongue,
on the smooth of her thigh.
To make my approach is all that's left.
Finishing this over-imagined conversation
should help make things --
right.
Here I am now.
In front of them both.
The stone is nameless,
in the high-grass.
Her knees cannot buckle,
and I am being withheld,
Incommunicado.
Nothing resolved,
we choose --
solitude.
Up the ladder:
American Idol epiphany in haiku
Down the ladder:
The canary's last song
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.2727275
Posted: July 31, 2002 12:29 PM PDT; Last modified: March 11, 2003 5:39 PM PSTWeighted score: 6.1363635 Overall Rank: 1079 Comments:
[8]
x311 @ 63.227.192.5
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31-Jul-02/1:48 PM
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Reply
interesting. i don't really know which way to take it but this poem seems somewhat morbid in tone, at least to me. That's not bad--I actually enjoy it here.
This one's beuatiful. But is it you the timid admirer or her(a ghost against the headstone) who is invisible. Judging from your poetry its probably both... Da1, holla back
oh and i especially like the use of "left/right"... Very saucy.
This is perfect and beautiful, horus. I know you are rebellious and sombre most of the time [which is not uninteresting], but let us see your sober side too. I give you nine.
Horus8 r u talking 2 me?
Or talking to me?!
listen..kawakurdi..i am moved..but it's only a matter of time before 6dark6angel6 gets back from his lunch of fritos and snaps to carpet bomb this mother fucking, mother hugging vomit with an onslaught of trident missiles and screaming eagles with trumpets and gabriel and druel and osama and bombs and kittens and hemp lubricants..its only a matter of time. but i still feel slightly vaguely touched. you can hear on mp3 at gangbox.com..it has whales and techno drums it rubs me raw i hope you hate it. fuck shit.fuck i have to go to the store.smoke breal then re-edit phone tapclaptruelies.later
I am glad you are still on the hoof.
i am totally not on the 'hoof' i'm in the hammock with lap top bee-bop smoking and swinging..it's a precious afternoon and worth the flashbacks.californiahealsslow.but healsnone the less..the 'hoof'is just abeak180degr.. it also makes a fine foot darwinistictually speaking about every 10 million years ah...wasp..fuck'
very much a wow. 'assumption has not a spine'. wondermous.
The plains of africa part 3) the lioness crouches and crawls closer to the sound. young gazelle nursing, suckling hears not the silent cat, and feeds on. pounce.tit-rip.blood.mother startled bounds awaying not looking back.will have another one. when the rain comes. off to her right she sees a pride of lions eating a dead rhino with shit on his heel. love comes seasonal but leaves flash flood!u
Nice. Wish I could say something more useful, but I've got to go. I'll try back tomorrow and see if I can be more helpful.
Better than your other ones. Here's a 5. My favorite part of this poem was your use of Incommunicado. How brave and original you are!
Le Negro IV, Afros and pepsi.
I am bachus, horus, babba yag, shardik, and jeremi. you are the white! better get reading ricky! incommunicado or not. originality is your repeated use of noxema.
Flip it he can rip it any style you want.
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