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Dead Eye (Other) by kthulah jump a surface view
deeper into you
what i want to see
impression of me
what you thought to sate
was inaccurate
humor rumor while
pick apart your guile
what the people say
cannot be will sway
weaker minds who need
not to know they bleed
but those as we are
know the span of star
minds so big they touch
sometimes even clutch
deduction or more
supersition lore
nevermind the cult
i get the result
tumblers fall in mind
tentacles entwined
say now your goodbye
under my dead eye
Up the ladder:
The Callous
Down the ladder:
THEIR MOCCASINS
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.0
Posted: July 29, 2002 4:23 PM PDT; Last modified: July 29, 2002 4:23 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.0 Overall Rank: 7571 Comments:
[n/a]
razorgrin @ 142.166.109.174
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29-Jul-02/4:29 PM
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Reply
I like it.it's fun to say aloud.mmmmm...tentacley.cthulhu fhtagn.
i am searching with my good eye closed, and doing my worst jesus christ pose.??
cute. stumbles in a few places, and couldn't follow the "thought" from one end to the other, but... cute.
It's about superdeduction, which manifests itself in what some people would call telepathy.
The poem is about two people whose minds are superdeductive; one attempting to deceive the other, but the other, aware of the facades that are often put up to block. The latter is the "narrator" of the poem...and is sometimes referred to by their peers as "dead eye" which is old western slang for someone with excellent shooting aim.
with that information, i like it much more. i wonder if the idea of telepathy needs to be made clearer, so that the poem is more accessible? perhaps i am too dense.
Density isn't the issue...At the time, it was written as a message...long story. For the general public, though, I probably should add a couple more stanzas at the beginning. My perspective of the world at large might be a little skewed because I've been around mostly people who are mystics in some way, all my life. When that's a social basis, rather than one being a sort of an island of awareness in a sea of oblivion, one tends to write as if it's common. I'll see what I can do for the revision.
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