poemranker ::Undertow by eliastemplar

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Haiku № 59904

Undertow

by eliastemplar

Member since 2003 · Posted 8 Aug 2003 · Edited 21 Aug 2003 · 6 comments

turn off all the lights beneath the cold that covers your only summer

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mean 6.33 weighted 5.16 rank 5101 views 247 View voting details →

3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

6 comments

[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom 8-Aug-03/12:26 PM Reply
Um... Correct me if I'm wrong here but this isn't a Haiku right? I mean 5-7-5? This is 5, maybe 6, and 4. No vote from me on this one.
[9] <~> › thepinkbunnyofdoom 22-Aug-03/10:50 AM Reply
technically it is. virtually it is. actually it is.
and if you thought for a second about it, you'd agree it's powerful.

knowing you're in the service, eliastemplar, this poem evokes service on a submarine. i know how long those guys/women are gone for, and the blackness between news.

nice job, sir.
[n/a] cleverdevice › <~> 11-Sep-03/1:12 AM Reply
Yeah! lets hear it for the subs!! My dad was captain of HMS Superb as it kicked shit out of the Taleban!!!
[8] horus8 9-Aug-03/2:38 PM Reply
MMMMMMM. Yep maybe 'last' summer?
[n/a] deleted user 18-Aug-03/12:56 PM Reply
Whenever I catch a cold, this big black snot falls out of my left nostril and curls in my lap like a muskrat would if it tried.
[n/a] OneFingerAnswer › deleted user 22-Aug-03/12:52 AM Reply
When some mother birds sense danger to their chicks they'll pretend they broke their wing and flap around to distract the predator.