DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Her Sleeping Form

Member since 2003 · Posted 23 Jul 2003 · 7 comments

The darkness of the room clothed her naked form. While the moon, entering through the window above, Traced its finger over her body. An aura of perfume around her neck Led me toward her quiet breaths and My eyes adjusted slowly to the outline of her shape. Gliding like water, my hand swam through her hair Rolling across her bare shoulder, and flowing down to her hips, And underneath the depths of my covers. She stirred from my touch, muttering something, And took my hand into her own. The quiet beat Of her pulse reassured me that she was there. My eyes closed. In love with an emotion and in an affair with my senses, I pulled out the knife and stabbed her. Once into her chest. Twice into the covers. Again and again. Blood was everywhere. Warm drops dripped into my mouth. Her screams were mixed with mine and then his.

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7 comments

[n/a] LuckyJoe 23-Jul-03/10:10 AM Reply

You set my heart on an ending that would compliment the beginning and that I didn't get. Being mislead or supprised by verse doesn't do anything for me. Had I not set my mind to how I wanted it ended I'm sure it would have been great. Not knocking your work by any means it was still good.
Keep on writing, as a fellow poet I can speak for us all saying we like seeing others ideals to widen our own.

[n/a] JoyLuck › LuckyJoe 23-Jul-03/10:43 AM Reply

well fuck that
i quit!

lol
jk

it's called a twist
he caught his love cheating on him
or he's just a crazy stalker of nicole simpson

[8] Bachus 23-Jul-03/12:34 PM Reply

I hope you made a sandwich when you were done.

[8] thepinkbunnyofdoom 23-Jul-03/6:47 PM Reply

Please tell me you ate skittles afterwords. I mean whats a good murder without some skittles after? Only the crazy motherfuckers have to have a smoke and a stiff drink afterwords. The sane ones eat skittles and and drink a nice healthy glass of milk. -8-

[n/a] DurtKL › thepinkbunnyofdoom 23-Jul-03/8:50 PM Reply

hmmm....Munchin' on a BLT and snackin' on some skittles over a dead bodies is interesting. maybe you or i or someone else should take that challenge on.

[8] thepinkbunnyofdoom › DurtKL 23-Jul-03/10:34 PM Reply

Okay here is my piss poor atempt.

The Way Murder is Done(Couplets) by TPBOD

Do you mind if I pop a sqaut?
I thought not.
In just a few hours your bowels will cave in.
I'll be long gone before then.

I did it you asshole.
Mother fucker whose got fucking control?
Look at you, your falling apart.
Your as bad as that cunt, Museheart.

You can't say that you didn't get what you deserve.
Now I hope you don't mind but I need something to calm my nerves.
You want one?, Too bad my skittles.
Here soon I'll chop the rest of you into little bittles.

Maybe cut off a slice of your calf to add to a BLT.
Oh god wouldn't that be heavenly.
I hated you, you fucking Jew.
They'll never Identify you.

[n/a] JoyLuck › thepinkbunnyofdoom 24-Jul-03/1:53 AM Reply

here is mine

Taste the Rainbow by JOYluck

You always used to swallow them whole didn't you?
Purple, Yellow, Orange, and blue.
After a minute of fucking I'd roll off you,
Trying not to notice that bored look on your face,
And you'd roll your eyes reaching over onto the nightstand
To dig into a red jumbo sized bag of skittles.

It was the weed. The weed I tell you!
Underperforming drug worked wonders on my penis.
At least, in my mind it did.
I'm not sixteen anymore. My hand gets less and less practice
Each new year. I swear this swelling fat around my stomach
and thighs makes it harder to look in the mirror.
I just can't find it anymore!

So, now you're lying there, torn up and bloody.
This knife really did its work.
Oragans, tissue, and cells. They are all the same.
Just on different levels. You get me?
You always used to swallow them whole didn't you?
I know for sure now.