poemranker ::Flowing river by LuckyJoe

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Other № 56994

Flowing river

Member since 2003 · Posted 21 Jul 2003 · Edited 9 Aug 2003 · 2 comments

Attached to the flowing river, Constantly with each day she flows, Moving further away till one day gone, A new body she resides; within the ocean. Why must her touch be longed for? Take a dip within the caressing wetness, Remember forever her taste. How can salt be so sweet, Why is there this craving to savor, Each day wanting to be caressed by waves, Wrapped within moving force of love. Float again to the top; breathe. Wash me under keep me buried, Promise to fossilize me within, Never to be forgot. Years later dig, and I'll be found, Don't hesitate to come back around. You've opened my eyes, For now I wish to drown, Take away my breath with joy, Allow me to add salt content with tears. Just give a hug and a kiss, Show me that I'll be missed, Travel the world on the currents of which you flow, Just know I'm waiting... Watching out to sea, Till the day you return, That day again caress me as you did before, Make my senses tingle, Again to cause happy tears to flow. I don't ask to tame you, For then you wouldn't be the same, Don't point fingers with blame, When your traveling is done decide, I'll be waiting... Without you, my conquest will never truly be won. ************************ Can I get some Crit on this poem please. Seems to have lots of views for not comments about the poem. Just want to know what everything is thinking about it. So that I can change it for the better where its needed. Thanks in advance.

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 8.17 weighted 5.85 rank 1557 views 154 View voting details →

6 votes so far. Yours would make 7.6 votes so far

2 comments

[10] Druid_Girl_1984 23-Jul-03/6:43 PM Reply
Hey QT! that i would let you know i really love this poem. well i better go. talk to ya later. = )
[n/a] Jeremi B. Handrinos 10-Aug-03/12:07 AM Reply
Yeah, I can edit it for you tomorrow. It needs quite a bit of work, but it's a good start.