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the godself within (Free verse) by crwncka1
It all started one day with a bold vision, that came to me though a dream, as I felt something on the inside stirring, asking the dark blue blur that is heaven above, may actually be of existence on the physical realm? So with that one thought in mind, I decided to begin a search for heaven above, as I felt a longing of churning desire, from somewhere deep within my bruised soul, that I needed to search for the gold promised, as god would give me all the courage necessary, to submerge myself deep within my souls waters. I found the sin of oceanic waters as I would drown, with confusion growing a awakening feeling from within, is when my journey would only prove darker and harder, but with inner strength I was able to cross the far shore, where I started feeling this oneness with heaven. As the fog slowly rolled up and out of my mind, I begin to see the promised golden stairway, step by step I would slowly reach the top, and finally see the sun of the god heaven above.

Up the ladder: Hardest Thing
Down the ladder: Blind Faith

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Arithmetic Mean: 2.6
Weighted score: 4.713913
Overall Rank: 11963
Posted: July 7, 2003 9:40 AM PDT; Last modified: July 7, 2003 9:40 AM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 7-Jul-03/1:24 PM | Reply
"I found the sin of oceanic waters as I would drown" Christ, things are grim when even the Oceanic waters are sinning? you sure that's heaven and not just a blue and gold macaw eating a papaya?
[n/a] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 | 7-Jul-03/2:40 PM | Reply
You are trying to hard, you need to let go, because this poetry of yours today is just shit mate, turn around and do it again, I'm serious. It's not poetry, it sounds like the diluted message of a dyslexic cult leader huffing on low grade gasoline.
[n/a] crwncka1 @ 67.30.35.170 > Bachus | 7-Jul-03/2:53 PM | Reply
your mom just feels to good to let go
[n/a] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ 24.126.113.154 > crwncka1 | 7-Jul-03/4:43 PM | Reply
Yes, I feel the same way, but she's starting to stink up the room.
[3] SupremeDreamer @ 204.31.168.51 | 7-Jul-03/7:58 PM | Reply
the title and the poem have nothing to do with each other. you failed miserably to make a poem about the godself within. blessed with 3
[2] god'swife @ 205.188.209.7 | 8-Jul-03/4:00 PM | Reply
masturbatic
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