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Dirge (Free verse) by Nicholas Jones I have desired to go
Where ships not sail,
Where all shall be well
And words not fail
I have desired to be
Twelve miles out to sea
So the incessant lies
Will be of my own demise
I have thought that I could
Evade what I know
So I will not be me,
But that cannot be, so â
I have desired to view
My mind on a platter
While analysts proclaim
What might be the matter
I know nothing about it,
We all atrophy still
While my brain is decaying
Both in freedom and will
One day this destruction
Will work its way loose â
For now I spend long days
Under trees
Reading Proust
Yet I have desired to know
An illusory place
Born out of my lies
Where ships do sail
And words cannot fail
Where all shall be well
And nothing new can be found
Inside of my mind.
Up the ladder:
lucid building peace
Down the ladder:
cut yourself
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.5
Posted: June 13, 2003 5:44 AM PDT; Last modified: June 13, 2003 5:44 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.134471 Overall Rank: 5563 Comments:
[7]
Mona Lisa @ 62.105.88.10
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13-Jun-03/6:21 AM
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Reply
Nice enough but the punch you packed was short of winding me 7
battling the atrophy of a learned response culture.
Something like that. It's about transcendence. See if you can spot the intertextual references.
A promise.
I would totally lose the last line, and end at found.
I think I agree, I'm not really happy with the ending. In fact the whole thing is a work in progress. The best line is the first one, and I borrowed that from Gerard Manley Hopkins. It came into my head, and I thought I'd written it, but then I remembered it came from somewhere else. But then I used it anyway; it seemed to make sense.
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