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Water Runs Deep (Free verse) by shwenatjadeflower I am a placid lake with still waters that run deep.
I wonder what people consider the good in me.
I hear the winter frost crackling over top of me.
I see the air nipping at the valley surrounding me.
I want to imagine the future.
I am a placid lake with still waters that run deep.
I pretend I can soar over the country.
I feel the encompassing tune of a string quatet and it moves me.
I touch the beautiful blue of the sky as I reflect it.
I worry that I am like flypaper, drawing you in, never to be released.
I cry because I could be the ping pong ball
guided by the paddle and hand with no idea where I'll land.
I am a placid lake with still waters that run deep.
I understand that the stillest waters hide the most potent currents.
I say that the world is forgetting.
I dream of a world where everyone's waters run deep.
Up the ladder:
long time no write
Down the ladder:
if only i could tell
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.0
Posted: May 21, 2003 7:49 PM PDT; Last modified: May 21, 2003 7:49 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.0 Overall Rank: 7736 Comments:
[4]
deleted user @ 63.237.171.94
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21-May-03/8:09 PM
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Reply
I had to do a poem like that for school, that started with I am, i wonder, i hear, i see, i want, i am, I pretend, I feel, I touch, I worry, I cry, I am, I understand, I say, I dream. Is it just me, or is this some type of template for a type of poetry?
[n/a]
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215
> deleted user
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22-May-03/11:14 AM
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Reply
Yes it is. All beautiful and meaningful poetry starts with "I..." where "..." is replaced with something like "feel", "wonder", "hope", "believe", "cry", "sing", "reach" or "pretend".
"quatet" it could only be better if it was a twatet. Could you incorporate say... waterskiing sumo wrestlers playing ping pong in between jumps, because that would be even more damn organic.
Ok, it's a little to cliqued in parts but i like the part about the ping pong ball guided by the paddle and hand.I know what you mean by the sentiment of the poem. A world where everyones waters ran deep would indeed be a truly marvellous place. But at least there are some and not none at all!
You lie in bed night after night, wishing people would understand you and your beautiful world, don't you?. God, just shut up. You make me sick.
Thanks for the tirade of abuse that you launched upon me yesterday. It neither made my day nor destroyed it. You do have an interesting way of constructing insults-is there any way you can put this to use except on poemranker? Not saying it's not welcome here of course but i was just wondering whether this is your only outlet. If so perhaps you could try out being that old grumbling man on the bus that dribbles, mumbles about steak and kidney pies and occasionally pisses himself.
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