poemranker ::Another Dull Moment by Blindproject217

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Free verse № 44421

Another Dull Moment

Member since 2003 · Posted 15 Mar 2003 · 8 comments

Another dull day Another boring moment I search these desolate streets for signs of life I am overcome with calamity and strife Plagued by this earthly mindset The world is plotting against me Day and night it plans my demise My eyes are dimming The light in this place has long since faded I choke on the dark As slowly I am suffocated I turn my eyes As I take my last breath I see your face And I am in wonder at your beauty So perfect so picturesque You take your hand in mine No longer do I look for a sign No longer do I search for a reason The vail is lifted I stand up and slowly look around The light comes And I slowly understand Why I?ve wasted all this time Why I?ve wasted all these years Why I?ve thrown away these moments Why I?ve used up all tears Time has come And time has gone But you stand here My longing heart has found no answers to speak of No longer must I search for reason I have found it in you

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7 votes so far. Yours would make 8.7 votes so far

8 comments

[7] horus8 16-Mar-03/3:12 PM Reply
"The vail is lifted " veil.

[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 17-Mar-03/6:54 AM Reply
I would suggest the following changes:

"Another Dull Moment" --> " "
"Another boring moment" --> " "
"I search these desolate streets for signs of life" --> " "
"I am overcome with calamity and strife" --> " "
"Plagued by this earthly mindset" --> " "
"The world is plotting against me" --> " "
"Day and night it plans my demise" --> " "
"My eyes are dimming" --> " "
"The light in this place has long since faded" --> " "
"I choke on the dark" --> " "
"As slowly I am suffocated" --> " "
"I turn my eyes" --> " "
"As I take my last breath" --> " "
"I see your face" --> " "
"And I am in wonder at your beauty" --> " "
"So perfect so picturesque" --> " "
"You take your hand in mine" --> " "
"No longer do I look for a sign" --> " "
"No longer do I search for a reason" --> " "
"The vail is lifted" --> " "
"I stand up and slowly look around" --> " "
"The light comes" --> " "
"And I slowly understand" --> " "
"Why I?ve wasted all this time" --> " "
"Why I?ve wasted all these years" --> " "
"Why I?ve thrown away these moments" --> " "
"Why I?ve used up all tears" --> " "
" Time has come" --> " "
"And time has gone" --> " "
"But you stand here" --> " "
"My longing heart has found no answers to speak of" --> " "
"No longer must I search for reason" --> " "
"I have found it in you" --> " "
[1] lastobelus › -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 17-Mar-03/7:21 AM Reply
after which, you can simply change the title to "man choking on own figurative vomit saved by beautiful woman"
[n/a] Blindproject217 › lastobelus 17-Mar-03/9:43 AM Reply
hahaha exactly.
[n/a] Blindproject217 › Blindproject217 17-Mar-03/9:44 AM Reply
Im not sure what happened with those ? marks either, I put a ' but they changed or somthin
[n/a] Blindproject217 › -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 17-Mar-03/9:45 AM Reply
Thanx this is my first real attempt at this so it kinda sux.
[9] Dead Poet 20-Mar-03/10:06 PM Reply
Damn your good