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Fate (Lyric) by Dostoyevsky
Broken hearts on silver tongues, Falling souls from broken rungs, This is music to her ears, My solitary falling tears, Dropping down at wounded knee, And Judas hanging from a tree, Fear and hope like diseases spread, Mao Tse-tsung and a book thats red, Fates path we follow through the night, Like blind old men with hope for sight, And when we come to the final mile, We sit and wonder about that while, How our life on this single road, Exacts a toll make us carry load, Drop your burden and leave this path, Break fates rules subdue her wrath,

Up the ladder: Atonement
Down the ladder: bottoms up

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.125
Weighted score: 4.764676
Overall Rank: 11413
Posted: March 12, 2003 3:42 PM PST; Last modified: March 12, 2003 3:42 PM PST
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Comments:
[7] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 12-Mar-03/5:36 PM | Reply
Boy, when you pick your titles you really go out on a limb. That should be your next title "limbs".
[4] lastobelus @ 213.61.217.3 | 13-Mar-03/6:08 AM | Reply
jingle jangle, words to mangle
hist'ry with my shit be-spangle
fate really doesn't give a fuck
'bout anything, it's all just luck
[6] Ranger @ 213.120.56.37 > lastobelus | 15-Mar-03/2:29 PM | Reply
Ha ha ha!
[6] Ranger @ 213.120.56.37 | 15-Mar-03/2:32 PM | Reply
Needs less of the images and more elaboration on the ones you keep. Try keeping it simpler-less 'varied' but with more realistic ideas. My earlier poems are like this but I've learnt from them-you could do the same.
I also think you should write a poem called 'Limbs', damn fine idea Horus old boy.
[10] lunar @ 195.92.67.74 | 16-Mar-03/1:54 PM | Reply
bit random stamp deary - its all a bit hopeless nowadays huh?
[10] lunar @ 195.92.67.65 | 5-Apr-03/9:19 AM | Reply
Whos it about?
[n/a] Dostoyevsky @ 172.180.38.30 > lunar | 5-Apr-03/10:33 AM | Reply
its about fate its self the images are of fate its all inter-connected, GOD you people so obcessed with intricate things that you cant take it for face value
[0] Yardbird @ 80.1.8.42 | 13-Apr-03/12:57 PM | Reply
Dear God! How shite are you? 0.
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