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Currents

Member since 2002 · Posted 12 Jul 2002 · 3 comments

Drawn in to a deep of tear, Struggling, I die. Execute by yielding, My oppressor is the sky The fiendish sun Throws waves of bright, Vertically down into the depths. Dark and light, adjacent stand Shadows glance, and terrify, Bind me to my fate.

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3 comments

[9] pkdrunner 12-Jul-02/7:01 PM Reply

Isis, the last 7 lines are wonderful! The first line "a deep of tear"? is odd, and struggling and yielding may be what you want to say, but it is not apparent why opposites are in consecutive lines. Overall very good work, I love the imagery of the dark and light, it brings up an image of jail bars. Thanks!

[7] horus8 12-Jul-02/7:23 PM Reply

Welcoming that which pulls by pushing

[10] god'swife 24-Aug-02/12:22 AM Reply

Morituri te salutamus. I'm certain into is a single word, not 2 separate, I looked it up for you just to be sure. Is the sun fiendish? I suppose it is fiendish to watch and do nothing. The sun, to my mind, would throw beams of bright or make waves go bright. But the sun throwing waves is hard for my particular brain to accept. These are unimportant observations, but they did come to me. Take them with a grain of salt. Otherwise ne plus ultra. I've spent a lot of time underwater. You've got the scenery right. 10