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Leaving Home (Free verse) by temptalia
The suitcase is a mess
with clothes strewn haphazardly
panties on the floor, a sock on the nightstand.
Seems like life makes a bitter
mimicry of things gone wrong; mistakes I can't
undo - a past I'm afraid to face, a future
I'm unable to reach; submerged by the present.
Stranded in a torturous state of limbo -
with lost eyes and worn feet
a mind half-bent in delusions,
and split between self-destruction and a desperate denial.
The electricity flickers, lights dim and fluctuate;
moonlight streams in steadily, through paper-thin
curtains, threads hanging loose as the
wind blows a chilled air and the sweet sounds
of domestic disputes and car alarms;
the neon lights filter in, a fine accompaniment
to this loneliness; the rhythmic hum carries
on the notes of the songbirds of yesterday--
times spent down by the backyard ponds and dusty country roads
with fresh lemonade and a farmer's daughter
fixing dinner while her Momma rests in the shade,
swinging on the wooden swing Daddy made
for their twentieth annivesary.
Travelling with nothing to my name, a pen in hand
and a fake identity already spoken for
as I attempt to outrun the sinful longings
for those summery nights in winter
and the lull of some aging melody.
The greater the need to leave and
ignore the roots of home, the sooner
the urge to return comes crawling on its hands
and knees, with its fingertips interlocking
around your neck - poised and ready
for that petty rebellion you'll throw in its face;
it anticipates those slick moves, counters
and returns with unchained ferocity.
And still, you'll resist;
wind up shacked up in the back of a
drunk man's pick-up truck - thankful for
a ride to the nearest, cheapest motel
with rattling faucets and stained carpets;
further those dreams you dismissed
for some forgotten need for independence
that becomes compromised
regardless of that profound personal sense of liberty
that thrums deep inside your heart;
it's meaningless among these faded family portraits.
Like ghosts, hauntingly familiar and strangely foreign;
that guide us away from serenity
and open doors we've yearned to close.
With a foot outside the room, the scene speaks
and screams; kicks up a storm as the dust settles
back into anonymity.
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 5.975
Weighted score: 5.9749556
Overall Rank: 1333
Posted: March 1, 2003 11:26 PM PST; Last modified: March 1, 2003 11:26 PM PST
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