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Her bloody diamonds (Villanelle) by Bachus I loved her bloody diamonds.
An impure virago with no windsock.
But she will never leave that Island.
The way her stones are fashioned.
Confabulations became clear rock.
I loved her bloody diamonds.
When they shined I was enlivened.
For her I crowed a healthy cock.
But she will never leave that Island.
Her eyes are an oriental almond.
See how the natives flock.
All love her bloody diamonds.
I tried to tell her as a friend.
That she chose instead to mock.
She will never leave that Island.
One day soon, she will be wisened.
To the ticking of the clock.
I loved her bloody diamonds,
But she will never leave that Island.
Up the ladder:
A Year Later (edited a bit)
Down the ladder:
Erotic Crossroad in my Dream: So I Cream Into Me Panties
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.125
Posted: February 25, 2003 11:32 PM PST; Last modified: June 19, 2003 2:04 PM PDTWeighted score: 6.8716936 Overall Rank: 277 Comments:
[8]
razorgrin @ 192.197.141.39
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26-Feb-03/10:00 AM
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Reply
Diamonds are forever. cool.
[n/a]
Bachus @ 24.126.113.154
> razorgrin
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26-Feb-03/10:09 AM
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Reply
Thanks for the ass-hat, by the way, i thought it a noun worth stealing and using quickly.
[8]
razorgrin @ 192.197.142.42
> Bachus
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26-Feb-03/1:07 PM
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Reply
no problem. it's a term that needs propagation.
YOU PROMISED ME MALE WHORE POETRY YOU SNOW BOARDING YUTZ. 0.
Nice rotation. Put a Villanelle to music yet? I'm sending you a dozen ashtrays, I'm tired of seeing cigarette burns in your carpet, drapes, dog. What say? Send two dozen? Done. Later Gator.
AND SO THE HORUSETTLE WARS BEGAN.
A suggestion:
try and ease the connections between the lines. Make the rhythm more natural, easy, as spoken word. This is base carbon, and pressure must be applied; too much, and striations ruin the effect; too little, marcasite. You, sir, are a smooth-tongued devil. I sense it is not beyond your ken to make the needed modifications. I anticipate the boldness of the results. Accept this seven, for now. I assure you there is an eleven in hiding. Your task will be to draw it out. 401 view(s)
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