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First move (Free verse) by aliena
So near, yet so far Pride keeps us wide apart Waiting for the other To make the first move. When you laugh happily I want to laugh with you When you mope silently I want to cheer up you But pride holds me back Making me wait for you To make the first move Side by side we walk On almost parallel tracks So near, yet so far Hurting inside all along Longing to talk but pride Makes us wait for the other To make the first move Against the cry of our heart Our pride keeps us apart So near, yet so far Though easy, it's so hard Someone between me and you Got to make the first move

Up the ladder: Forgotten
Down the ladder: I Love You

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 4.625
Weighted score: 4.899147
Overall Rank: 9883
Posted: December 22, 2002 8:52 AM PST; Last modified: December 22, 2002 8:52 AM PST
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Comments:
[4] horus8 @ 24.126.117.82 | 22-Dec-02/10:02 AM | Reply

"I want to cheer up you", don't fucking bother, my hatred keeps me sharp, and built for war, as for you? i pray they find you with their brick bats soon.
[6] adrenalize @ 202.141.239.130 | 22-Dec-02/11:31 AM | Reply
I like the part bout moving together like parallel tracks...really nice idea
[n/a] <{Baba^Yaga}> @ 24.126.113.154 > adrenalize | 22-Dec-02/12:37 PM | Reply
boy! you're sharp. there are only two ways parallel tracks can move together, or appart...but wai..what's this? it's 'towards'.
[7] wOrnella Mutiw @ 198.81.26.167 | 22-Dec-02/3:36 PM | Reply
for some odd reason I like the cheezy poem...but then again I love Celtic cheese...ahhhh....if you scratch my back I'll give you an oz.
[8] tre @ 147.9.40.233 | 2-Apr-04/8:59 AM | Reply
know what you mean
187 view(s)




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