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with no words to write (Free verse) by nentwined with no words to write, I'm writing a poem
a psalm of remembrance for words that once were
spun wholecloth from ethers, the ethereal nothing
and embroidered with thoughts I can't grasp.
Up the ladder:
A Tragic Love Tryst In The Park Near The Sewage Works
Down the ladder:
I must be out of my mind
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.8461537
Posted: December 17, 2002 8:44 AM PST; Last modified: December 17, 2002 11:07 AM PSTWeighted score: 6.833798 Overall Rank: 332 Comments:
Singular "ether" maybe?
Your last line--the change in rhythm--seems to fall flat. I like the idea of this a lot, just needs some refining, I think.
maybe without the "and" in the last line?
yeah. 'ethers', the more I look at it, fails somehow. maybe 'embers' would work. that ties in lost things, and a touch of fire which I always love... :)
Hm, only thing that makes me twitch is that 'can't'. I think it would have a better ring to it if spelled 'cannot' Otherwise, it's lovely ^_^!
interesting. the flow of can't -> cannot makes the last line match the others more closely. I hadn't thought of trying that. Thanks. :)
You took my poem idea. That's so lame! I wrote before you though so HA!
HA!
erm. which one? :)
i really really like this!
-zarina
pretentious tripe
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spun wholecloth from ethers, the ethereal nothing