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Forbidden Love (Free verse) by DolphnLvr82 Something that should feel so wrong,
To me could never feel more right.
The time goes by like it doesn't exist.
The world is shut out; it's just me and him.
Our lips softly touch, his hands run through my hair.
Our bodies become one.
His hands are soft and sincere.
His words are real.
Everything out in the open; there's nothing to hide.
Our every fantasy now becomes reality.
My body trembles as thoughts race through my head-
All fears are soon forgotten,
As our eyes close and our lips meet again.
Up the ladder:
Live My Death
Down the ladder:
You're the Only One
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 3.6923077
Posted: June 2, 2002 1:31 PM PDT; Last modified: June 2, 2002 1:31 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.044 Overall Rank: 13347 Comments:
[0]
beakism @ 213.123.43.19
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9-Jun-02/2:03 PM
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Reply
Let me ask you a sincere question: do you honestly think that anyone at all wants to hear about your pathetic teenage fantasies? Just as I thought. Keep them to yourself.
from checking out your poetry.. you woudln't seem to realize there was a difference in reality and fantasy.. looks like fantasy is the only thing you know about, this was a very real experience, and I'm 20.. not so teenage.. and it was a REAL experience of fucking a married man.. maybe you should not be so negative.. i've read your other comments to people, you're a very cynical shit head that should maybe touch up on your poetry before dictating someone elses!
Hmmm... you know, I've never looked at it that way. Now that you've pointed out to me how mean and nasty I am, I'm going to turn over a new leaf.
And teenage or not, do you really think anyone cares who you screwed?
Given you seem to think this is good poetry, I think I have a much firmer grasp on reality than you.
never claimed for it to be good...never claimed to be a poet.. just how i felt at one point in my life.. if it bothers you so god damn bad... there's an x at the top right of your screen... USE IT
If you don't claim to be a poet, don't criticize my poetry. I think the antics of a Cad are far more important than whatever you think happened between you and a man.
see i'm not here to prove myself better than you or worse... this isn't life or death... everyone's life and personal satisfactions are different, but not to be judged
Look, I don't care about your feelings on life, I just want to know why you think anyone would care about who you screwed!
jesus christ dude, again must you be so criticizing of other people's feelings. You are nothing but a breath of fresh air on this site so i suggest you either stop criticizing or find some place else to get your jollies.....good poem
I'm not criticizing her god damn feelings. I'm wondering why anyone would give a shit about who she screwed.
thank you twisted...
I don't think the issue is necessarily whether or not people would care about "who she screwed", but rather whether or not it was a married Dolphin man or not. That and the fact that it's generally an old, overdone sentiment that has been done much better in the past. No offense of course: one can't write a love song and expect it to be particularily interesting or original (unless it's about loving Dolphins), and I'd think the same goes for poetry.
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