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missing you (Free verse) by Goose I remember when I used to wait with baited breath
for your call
We discussed it all
Then we would discuss it again
That was when you would tell me a dirty joke
Then poke fun at my reaction
Then came lives and distraction
The calls began to fade
Up the ladder:
Murder Poem 1
Down the ladder:
With Sleepless Breath...
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.6666665
Posted: November 19, 2002 7:48 AM PST; Last modified: November 19, 2002 8:27 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.179294 Overall Rank: 4808 Comments:
[8]
Christof @ 195.172.133.226
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19-Nov-02/8:03 AM
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Reply
The bit about the dirty joke is good, but I don't think you need the last two lines. It would be better left to just tail off, like your relationship.
[n/a]
Goose @ 64.12.96.139
> Christof
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19-Nov-02/8:28 AM
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Reply
I agree with you. Thanks for the input. I have dropped those last two lines and I like it lots better.
[8]
Christof @ 195.172.133.226
> Goose
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19-Nov-02/8:30 AM
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Reply
I'm glad I could help! I hink it works much better now
i agree with chrisof
I agree with Christof Cad and goose.
127 view(s)
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