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An Exercise in Futility (Free verse) by loneshadow29 seeds of darkness
planted deep within
where happiness blooms
but darkness comes
consuming all things
he fought so very hard
to keep the darkness at bay
to keep his precious sanity
but in the end it all proved futile
for now there is nothing left
no joy, no life at all
only an endless void
a hollow shell
where a proud man once stood
Up the ladder:
Transform
Down the ladder:
Pantoum
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.5
Posted: November 14, 2002 12:08 PM PST; Last modified: November 15, 2002 8:38 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.134471 Overall Rank: 5553 Comments:
[0]
horus8 @ 152.163.188.228
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14-Nov-02/12:23 PM
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Reply
what the fuck ever. seriously in all actuality you are a total fucking tarpuffer lonedisco29and ahalf..obviously the loose bowels of an over weight turnip..even dark angel has more trajectory..well.. even anthony robbins has more class than this and that shite head is classless...sorry for fogging up your glasses, but come on... you are grasping at gophers on a dark highway in minnesota..let go man...just let go. here..a hug. 0. this isn't even a real poem it's a fucking advertisement aimed at something called jealousy...drink a diet shasta..i recommend...boysenberry.
Lnshdw, even this sort of poetry should probably steer clear of the word 'nothingness'. Makes me wonder why we don't have the word 'somethingness'.
very much like "sanity's defeat".but I guess there's no more a "one day".it's for that 'he's tombstone.7
I think if you use past tense(fighted/proved)the sense of nothingness will become more oppressing in the poem.
thanks for the suggestion vulcan... it does sound better in past tense :o)
I revoted.(sorry for fighted!)and you did the right thing about that website.thanks.
"a hollow shell
where a proud man once stood" How pithily that speaks of mine own experiences. Oh beloved prawne! How I miss you! 133 view(s)
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