| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
Spontaneous Combustion/The Moth (Free verse) by ellisonandrew You've been here 3 days now
in this poky little 2nd bedroom
or "My Room" as she calls it
and each evening I have lunged
overbalanced
and missed you
Tonight I realise
you are far far stronger than I could ever wish to be
as you taunt me
getting closer, closer
almost wanting me to attack
but tonight I stayed calm and watched you
as the light bulb disintegrated your lack of bones..
Up the ladder:
Drunken note #2
Down the ladder:
Haiku Gymraeg
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.625
Posted: November 9, 2002 3:57 AM PST; Last modified: November 9, 2002 3:57 AM PSTWeighted score: 4.899147 Overall Rank: 9880 Comments:
[6]
Roisin @ 62.64.140.43
|
9-Nov-02/6:36 AM
|
Reply
Interesting. Yes, staying calm is the best way to attack. If who you want to attack is heading for demise the best way is to stay passive and watch it be! I liked the last line. Not sure about the relevance of the last line of first stanza. Is it appropriate to the rest of the poem?Also maybe realise was too strong a word to use as surely the moth is not stronger in the end?
I especially liked the last line and the second stanza of the poem. The last line of the first stanza does seem irrelevant, though.
121 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
