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Stockport (Free verse) by Nicholas Jones
Look down Wellington Road and see, nestling in the drizzle and murk, The filthiest town hall in the north, A wedding cake covered in car emissions. Frederich Engels once stood on that viaduct, (which has a motorway passing through it and a five storey mill underneath) and he remarked, more or less, this place is a shithole. The smell of the brewery covers the market square, with its dodgy clothes stalls and old man pubs. Army surplus shops on Hillgate Used to sell combats to the kids, Now the nineties are over They wear fancier trousers. On Saturdays, crowds flock to see County lose; they are rarely disappointed. Meanwhile, they make chocolate digestives In the McVities factory in Heaton Mersey. On hot days, they have to stop production Because the chocolate will not set. There are few hot days.

Up the ladder: Turnarounds
Down the ladder: alms

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.1666665
Weighted score: 5.8529015
Overall Rank: 1552
Posted: October 22, 2002 1:34 AM PDT; Last modified: October 22, 2002 1:36 AM PDT
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Comments:
[9] Christof @ 195.172.133.226 | 22-Oct-02/4:51 AM | Reply
Excellent detail about the fashions of the 90s, and a great mordant ending. This is one of your toppermost.
[n/a] Nicholas Jones @ 137.44.1.200 > Christof | 23-Oct-02/1:21 AM | Reply
I think the combat trousers revival will happen any day now. I like your use of the word toppermost. John Lennon, before the Beatles were successful, said they wanted to the toppermost of the poppermost. I'm kind of surprised people seem to like this poem, because I think it's weaker than most of my others. I'm a little concerned everyone thinks I hate the place, which isn't true.
[9] Christof @ 195.172.133.226 > Nicholas Jones | 23-Oct-02/1:26 AM | Reply
I knew I'd got that word from someone famous. Thanks for identifying my sources! Already an ex-girlfriend of mine is sporting combats in All Saints stylee - I don't know whether she's ahead of a trend or years behind one, though. I think your attitude towards Stockport is like mine towards Slough (substitute McVities factory for Mars factory) - one of extreme protectiveness.
[0] lukehanney @ 212.219.142.161 > Nicholas Jones | 16-May-03/7:56 AM | Reply
DON'T YOU DARE COMPARE YOURSELF TO THE BEATLES, YOU A FOOL AND YOU'RE POEMS DON'T EVEN RHYME
[n/a] cleverdevice @ 212.219.142.161 | 22-Oct-02/5:07 AM | Reply
Very good. Stockport is the arsehole of the world isn't it?
[7] ==Doylum @ 213.122.59.217 > cleverdevice | 22-Oct-02/5:26 AM | Reply
no, no it isn't
[n/a] Nicholas Jones @ 137.44.1.200 > cleverdevice | 23-Oct-02/1:12 AM | Reply
No, Stockport is not the arsehole of the world. That'd be Oldham. No, not really. I grew up in Stockport and have a great deal of affection for it. But the poem seems to be a lot more curmudgeonly than I intended. I think I'm just prone to negativity.

Go to http://www.stockport.g-br.com/tour for some nice pictures.
[8] god'swife @ 209.179.137.173 | 22-Oct-02/9:49 AM | Reply
Having never been to Stockport, I can objectively say this is a fine example of a discriptive poem. I love the way you represent Engels humanity. You are excellent at sense of place, a good influence on me. What are chocolate digestives?
[7] ==Doylum @ 213.122.47.251 > god'swife | 22-Oct-02/9:56 AM | Reply
they are digestives with chocolate on top

biscuits
[8] god'swife @ 209.179.137.173 > ==Doylum | 22-Oct-02/10:10 AM | Reply
What's a digestive? Is it medicine?
[9] Limness @ 167.206.181.179 > god'swife | 22-Oct-02/10:12 AM | Reply
they are sort of like oatmealy graham crackers--loaded with fiber, to help one, ahem, digest, their food....
[8] god'swife @ 209.179.137.173 > Limness | 22-Oct-02/10:16 AM | Reply
Ohhhh! Good idea.
[n/a] Nicholas Jones @ 137.44.1.200 > god'swife | 23-Oct-02/1:08 AM | Reply
A chocolate digestive is a biscuit covered with chocolate. McVities are the finest makers of these biscuits. It is the king of biscuits.
[8] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 > Nicholas Jones | 23-Oct-02/7:18 AM | Reply
in america, a biscuit is made with white flour, salt, and buttermilk. it is fluffy and white and saly, and you sop up gravy with it, or put butter on it abd eat it with fried chicken. always made and eaten fresh and hot, never from a factory.

thus the confusion.

yes, mcvities are delicious. a store near me has them, and i treat myself every once in a while. they are more like what we call graham crackers than biscuits, though.
[n/a] Nicholas Jones @ 137.44.1.200 > <~> | 23-Oct-02/7:28 AM | Reply
Thank you for clearing that up. To me, a biscuit is something sweet and crunch - perhaps what might otherwise be called a cookie. They form a vital part of my life.
[8] god'swife @ 209.179.135.164 > Nicholas Jones | 23-Oct-02/7:39 AM | Reply
I know a biscuit is a cookie, What I don't understand is why you would refer to them as something as unappetizing as a 'digestive'. It was explained to me yesterday. I just keep picturing some bloated guy munching on a choc. disc. I think it's a good idea. It's difficult to get people to eat their vegetables. They sell them at a place called Trader Joe's but I don't remember the packaging carrying the word digestive.
[9] Limness @ 167.206.181.179 | 22-Oct-02/10:23 AM | Reply
sounds like a lovely place to saty away from, nicholas. here, have a 9 for being so convincing.
[8] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 | 19-Dec-02/1:55 PM | Reply
you'd know.o
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215 | 18-Apr-03/10:59 AM | Reply
I'll thank you to call them "combat-suitable trousers".
[10] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 18-Apr-03/1:19 PM | Reply
Amusing, that they are rarely dissapointed.
[0] lukehanney @ 212.219.142.161 | 16-May-03/7:54 AM | Reply
PATHETIC ATTEMPT AT POETRY
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