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Kindling (Free verse) by <~> The fire spits and hisses
on this autumn eve
and there's a hollow roar behind
that pulls the spent flame's breath
out into the night. Exhausted,
the carpenter sits beside me
feeding his scraps to the stove
and the damp of my back
begs me to turn and toast it.
The taut of my face
too long toward the heat
rounds, to find him loose and smiling.
The fire does this to us, he says.
His leg is not a soft pillow
but the tenderness I feel
when he strokes my hair
is more comfortable than any down
and warms me through.
Let the cold drizzle.
We have built fire inside tonight
and piled it for a slow burn.
Up the ladder:
Apathy
Down the ladder:
Today's Spam
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.6216216
Posted: October 11, 2002 1:20 PM PDT; Last modified: October 11, 2002 1:47 PM PDTWeighted score: 6.6214213 Overall Rank: 584 The following users have marked this poem on their favorites list:
Comments:
[10]
god'swife @ 209.178.178.110
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11-Oct-02/3:54 PM
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Reply
he's his mama's sunshine. sweetest cherry in the apple pie. Make him show you how he does it.
Makes me wish I had a fireplace; but, I do have a chiminea. Dylan Thomas wrote of "the mulling pokers" in 'Child's Christmas in Wales'; reminds me of that. You two literary femmes, if you like craft-brewed beer, must try Raven lager our of B'more, MD. I served it for 3 hours this afternoon at an Arlington Oktoberfest shindig--I was a volunteer for my homebrew club. It would make the perfect ahhhh brew to enjoy in front of the hearth.
Hot poem! Thank goodness I built that fire pit!??
take a look. new one just in called realities...continuation
sexy...like a sister's underwear drawer. provocative and mysterious - at age 12. nice work...i'll see you tonight. midnight. if you please, bring some wine and a little afterlife chemistry.
under the sycamore, as usual? you know i always bring the chemistry set, love. what'll it be tonight?
Nice work Zinny! Perhpas your most sensual yet, in the literary sense. BUT... Kindling is the beginings, right? the small pieces that fuel the bonfire? And the beginings of sensuality are all about hints and innuendo. All this to say, don't be so obvious in using the word FIRE three times... What is it that Pops and Hisses? The fireplace? The Oak, the Maple ? The last of the Cherry from some forgotten Orchard? The Sapling pine not yet aged and hard?. Leave "Built Fire" - it works there, because you leave out the article "a" so it defines a very different thing you've created. So maybe he says "The Flame does this to us." I dunno.
This is beautiful. The rhythms are languorous like a long winter night, which I suppose is just what you meant. 'loose and smiling' is he? I just bet he is.
Breath-taking.
fine
what is up with the zeros? are you dead inside?
I would remove "spent"? I think the word "scraps" is a bit misleading, especially when implied with stove. The last stanza is excellent.
scraps--you don't like the convoluted metaphor of food/wood leftovers being 'fed' (consumed) by that which prepares the food? the whole business of the residual of how he earns the food and nothing wasted from the job either? no? that's why i used scraps. i wanted nothing wasted. i wanted the wood to be food as well.
spent--echoes 'exausted' in meaning. good vowel repeat. i'm a sucker for sonorous soundings, p&k. yes?
If is meant to be convoluted that is how I took it, so in that case it functions. It is a wood burning stove then, not a fireplace that the wood is going into?
yep. a wood burning stove. maybe i should reference that?
A beautiful touch. I really like it.
Better a wood stove than a burn barrel. Very well titled, and delivered.
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