DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Free verse № 19995

Kindling

by <~>

Member since 2002 · Posted 11 Oct 2002 · Edited 11 Oct 2002 · 17 comments

The fire spits and hisses on this autumn eve and there's a hollow roar behind that pulls the spent flame's breath out into the night. Exhausted, the carpenter sits beside me feeding his scraps to the stove and the damp of my back begs me to turn and toast it. The taut of my face too long toward the heat rounds, to find him loose and smiling. The fire does this to us, he says. His leg is not a soft pillow but the tenderness I feel when he strokes my hair is more comfortable than any down and warms me through. Let the cold drizzle. We have built fire inside tonight and piled it for a slow burn.

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37 votes so far. Yours would make 38.37 votes so far

A favorite of god'swife.

17 comments

[10] god'swife 11-Oct-02/3:54 PM Reply
he's his mama's sunshine. sweetest cherry in the apple pie. Make him show you how he does it.
[7] Frass 12-Oct-02/11:38 PM Reply
Makes me wish I had a fireplace; but, I do have a chiminea. Dylan Thomas wrote of "the mulling pokers" in 'Child's Christmas in Wales'; reminds me of that. You two literary femmes, if you like craft-brewed beer, must try Raven lager our of B'more, MD. I served it for 3 hours this afternoon at an Arlington Oktoberfest shindig--I was a volunteer for my homebrew club. It would make the perfect ahhhh brew to enjoy in front of the hearth.
[9] knickytoy 14-Oct-02/12:25 PM Reply
Hot poem! Thank goodness I built that fire pit!??
[8] royalflesh 14-Oct-02/4:56 PM Reply
take a look. new one just in called realities...continuation
[8] royalflesh 14-Oct-02/4:59 PM Reply
sexy...like a sister's underwear drawer. provocative and mysterious - at age 12. nice work...i'll see you tonight. midnight. if you please, bring some wine and a little afterlife chemistry.
[n/a] <~> › royalflesh 14-Oct-02/5:17 PM Reply
under the sycamore, as usual? you know i always bring the chemistry set, love. what'll it be tonight?
[n/a] Rex Karrs 14-Oct-02/8:37 PM Reply
Nice work Zinny! Perhpas your most sensual yet, in the literary sense. BUT... Kindling is the beginings, right? the small pieces that fuel the bonfire? And the beginings of sensuality are all about hints and innuendo. All this to say, don't be so obvious in using the word FIRE three times... What is it that Pops and Hisses? The fireplace? The Oak, the Maple ? The last of the Cherry from some forgotten Orchard? The Sapling pine not yet aged and hard?. Leave "Built Fire" - it works there, because you leave out the article "a" so it defines a very different thing you've created. So maybe he says "The Flame does this to us." I dunno.
[9] Christof 15-Oct-02/7:28 AM Reply
This is beautiful. The rhythms are languorous like a long winter night, which I suppose is just what you meant. 'loose and smiling' is he? I just bet he is.
[10] anonymous 18-Oct-02/2:53 PM Reply
Breath-taking.
[10] daniella 30-Oct-02/2:35 PM Reply
fine
[10] Limness 11-Nov-02/6:41 PM Reply
what is up with the zeros? are you dead inside?
[8] poetandknowit 19-Nov-02/7:28 PM Reply
I would remove "spent"? I think the word "scraps" is a bit misleading, especially when implied with stove. The last stanza is excellent.
[n/a] <~> › poetandknowit 20-Nov-02/8:09 AM Reply
scraps--you don't like the convoluted metaphor of food/wood leftovers being 'fed' (consumed) by that which prepares the food? the whole business of the residual of how he earns the food and nothing wasted from the job either? no? that's why i used scraps. i wanted nothing wasted. i wanted the wood to be food as well.

spent--echoes 'exausted' in meaning. good vowel repeat. i'm a sucker for sonorous soundings, p&k. yes?
[8] poetandknowit › <~> 20-Nov-02/9:57 AM Reply
If is meant to be convoluted that is how I took it, so in that case it functions. It is a wood burning stove then, not a fireplace that the wood is going into?
[n/a] <~> › poetandknowit 20-Nov-02/10:11 AM Reply
yep. a wood burning stove. maybe i should reference that?
[8] Nicholas Monson 3-Dec-02/1:52 PM Reply
A beautiful touch. I really like it.
[9] Jeremi B. Handrinos 9-Jan-03/7:03 PM Reply
Better a wood stove than a burn barrel. Very well titled, and delivered.