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ITS A SHAMBLES (Free verse) by lukehanney
You're wet and humiliated, With this club you're not affliated, Soggy steak and kidney pie, On a cold, wet day in mid-july, Arms and legs aching and sore, All of this for a 0-0 draw.

Down the ladder: Missing You

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.65
Weighted score: 5.619173
Overall Rank: 2188
Posted: October 9, 2002 6:42 AM PDT; Last modified: October 9, 2002 6:42 AM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] jrtails @ 212.219.142.161 | 9-Oct-02/6:45 AM | Reply
Absolutely bloody brilliant (and i don't usually say this) The way you include the atmosphere is superb, an overall fantastic poem!!!! All people who think different of this deserve a hiding!!
[5] Blue Magpie @ 62.176.75.111 | 9-Oct-02/7:55 AM | Reply
With this club you're not affliated,
This line is an inversion, not really a recommended technique for world shattering poets.



[8] Nicholas Jones @ 137.44.1.200 > Blue Magpie | 9-Oct-02/8:53 AM | Reply
What's wrong with inverting words? Isn't it just another poetic technique?
[8] Nicholas Jones @ 137.44.1.200 | 9-Oct-02/8:52 AM | Reply
I favour the meat and potato pie myself. Nice poem, in an ironic kind of way.
[6] god'swife @ 209.179.213.150 | 9-Oct-02/10:36 AM | Reply
Personally, I've never liked inversions. I'd much rather sacrifice the rhyme. I'm a big sports fan. Baseball, followed closely by what is known here as soccer. It a bitch not to score. the inversion kills this for me. I want you to tell me more about the play.
[10] deleted user @ 212.219.142.161 | 10-Oct-02/2:15 AM | Reply
Shut up the lot of you. Who cares if its inverted or not! I happen to like football a lot (BLackburn Rovers rule by the way) and I feel this peom portray's every football fans nightmare (apart from conceeding in the very last minute to lose).

Give the lad some credit!

At least he writes decent poems (not like Tarquain whatever her name is)
[8] Christof @ 195.172.133.226 | 10-Oct-02/2:46 AM | Reply
This is just how football should be. Muck and pies and hopelessness. It should be 'affiliated', but I don't care a rat's arse about the inversion.
[4] poetandknowit @ 65.101.212.20 | 4-Nov-02/7:52 AM | Reply
Why direct voice? This is under 25 words and you use "wet" twice. Maybe you should pick another. Other than that, you might be on to something.
[0] Edna Sweetlove @ 81.179.106.108 | 8-Aug-06/4:27 PM | Reply
Dreary working class rubbish. How I rejoice that the scum filth ugly white van proletarian English football yobs saw their vile and pathetic dreams CRUSHED to fucking pulp earlier this year. We pray for their drunklen deaths.
[0] Edna Sweetlove @ 81.179.106.108 > Edna Sweetlove | 8-Aug-06/4:28 PM | Reply
oops, I meant "drunken". Anyway who cares, uneducated football oiks couldn't spell their own name.
[n/a] ALChemy @ 71.75.188.163 > Edna Sweetlove | 9-Aug-06/6:46 AM | Reply
How dare he try to rhyme "sore" and "draw". Only a redneck can do that.
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