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Missing You (Haiku) by psychedelic The night sighs your name
The day echoes your laughter...
I can't help but hear.
Up the ladder:
ITS A SHAMBLES
Down the ladder:
HOW DO I WRITE
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.65
Posted: October 27, 2002 2:23 AM PST; Last modified: October 27, 2002 2:23 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.619173 Overall Rank: 2219 Comments:
[8]
eviltwin @ 66.68.189.36
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27-Oct-02/4:30 PM
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Reply
i like the emotion of this poem. the last line doesn't sound quite right to me, though. try taking another look at it.
I don't think the last line works, unfortunately. Would have been a good haiku otherwise. Ho hum, such is life..... 4.
the last line disappoints. the first 2 are setting us up...take us somewhere.
I don't know, I actually quite like the last line. Puts you succinctly into the situation.
Thanks, guys. I'll think about it.
Nice. I like the simplicity and the
metaphors. 171 view(s)
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