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Lonely Soul (Free verse) by faded_twilight Crying my eyes out
My heart's bleeding
For a man who might not even know
How much I love him
I can't tell him
I can't bear to
The rejection would kill me
The revelation would shatter my heart
And what would come of it?
Nothing but anguish
I can't bear the thought of rejection
I would die from the pain
My heart is dying from the pain
It hurts so much
My tears are my only comfort
This is the life that I lead
This is the pain of an lonely soul.
Up the ladder:
How Strange
Down the ladder:
Hatred
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.16
Posted: May 13, 2002 11:03 PM PDT; Last modified: May 13, 2002 11:03 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.1656218 Overall Rank: 13264 The following users have marked this poem on their favorites list:
Comments:
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nentwined @ 66.92.183.34
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14-May-02/1:12 AM
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Reply
bleah. :(
Although you make use of novel themes in this poem, I felt you could have just written "I love someone who may not love me. This is unpleasant" and conveyed exactly the same thing.
yikes...why don't you read some poetry before submitting crap you think might be poetry?
hrmmm...the words that comet to mind while reading this poem, include: SAP, CLICHE, SUPERFICIAL....you can imagine the rest. it feels like you're just saying someone else's words here..your emotions are valid, but you should find a way to put them into words people haven't heard before. try putting your emotions into a context...a fan loving a rock star, a dancer falling in love with a client, poor with rich...be creative, and make me interested in your love
hrmmm...the words that comet to mind while reading this poem, include: SAP, CLICHE, SUPERFICIAL....you can imagine the rest. it feels like you're just saying someone else's words here..your emotions are valid, but you should find a way to put them into words people haven't heard before. try putting your emotions into a context...a fan loving a rock star, a dancer falling in love with a client, poor with rich...be creative, and make me interested in your love
maybe if you were prettier and didn't whine so much. Really, there is nothing less attractive than pathetic girl poetry. Try growing a beard.
Crying my eyes out My heart's bleeding is clich??; try new word marriages, that'll make it work
E'en as I read this masterpiece, I broke wind in jubilation! A priceless classic! Don't listen to those other folks. They just like to criticise willy-nilly. Why do you think I have 5 poemes in the 'Worst' section? A travesty indeede.
Well even though this I think has been written it's still pretty good.
I like this poem as I did your Hurting Heart one. I wish you had more on here, since I enjoy these more then any others. There's something about poems about being alone that always catch my eye. Do you have more on a different site?
You still out there I haven't read these you so long. Don't ask me why cause I don't either, but I'd like to hear from you?
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