Replying to a comment on:

Lonely Soul (Free verse) by faded_twilight

Crying my eyes out My heart's bleeding For a man who might not even know How much I love him I can't tell him I can't bear to The rejection would kill me The revelation would shatter my heart And what would come of it? Nothing but anguish I can't bear the thought of rejection I would die from the pain My heart is dying from the pain It hurts so much My tears are my only comfort This is the life that I lead This is the pain of an lonely soul.

anonymous 19-May-02/5:01 PM
hrmmm...the words that comet to mind while reading this poem, include: SAP, CLICHE, SUPERFICIAL....you can imagine the rest. it feels like you're just saying someone else's words here..your emotions are valid, but you should find a way to put them into words people haven't heard before. try putting your emotions into a context...a fan loving a rock star, a dancer falling in love with a client, poor with rich...be creative, and make me interested in your love




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001