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Drunken note #1 (Free verse) by blackball i've gone below the surface
searching for thought
without pain, you surge for ecstasy
without love you've gone to another plane
hope for indecision
among the masses
hold true to your hatred
without finding a real love
go under and realize that what you've found is deeper and stranger than
love
Up the ladder:
The Service
Down the ladder:
Heart of the killer
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.285714
Posted: October 6, 2002 10:29 AM PDT; Last modified: October 6, 2002 10:29 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.0768404 Overall Rank: 6501 Comments:
[10]
Jigg @ 66.119.34.39
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6-Oct-02/5:37 PM
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Reply
Well it sorta started quite badly, went no where in the middle and tailed off towards the end but apart from that, splendid...great...sterling effort. No sorry justa touch of wry poet humour there (this is steeped in irony, so please don't hunt me down and slay me) liked it liked it a lot 10 will do me, Tommy!
Well these are pretty bad. Maybe drunk is not your color. There not as bad as the moronic comments left by Jigg. You're not really saying anything are you?
well...i was drunk...i don't remember writing them...and my friends told me they were good. i'm asucker for peer pressure
they were written for my girlfriend at the time...not a good stage in my life...for love or poetry...as you can probably tell
gone to bed. thanks for reading them over. hope to chat soon.
If you come across Sherman Alexie's (he is a writer that is not dead) "Alcoholic Love Poems," read them. It might help you clear these up a bit.
is his stuff well known?
His. Yes. But mostly his novels and short stories, but he is a damn good poet also.
well sad to say...i need sleep. i have a class in six hours. but thank you for helping me release some anger on a faceless foe...no sarcasm there. i needed to rant. good night to you and god'swife.
one last thought before i leave...it's funny how you say that limonade's poetry has a young...or "undergrad" feel to it...because the vast majority of my teenage friends think it's great but most of my adult friends say the same kind of stuff you guys do. guess i'll just have to grow up before i can write really good stuff like you and god'swife...once again...no sarcasm. night all
when i started talking about my teenage friends and adult friends i was talking about my poetry...not limonade's
Of course, you think it is good. Because it is good. It is just young and it is blowing away its intended audience. But how many successful writers are 19 or 20? There is a reason for that. Experience. It may be a cliche, it may be a stereotype, but it is everything. She has the tools and the talent. The rest with come with age.
truer words were never spoken. so are we cool?
We were never not cool.
awesome. have a good one dude. do some work. night
Successful today, not way back when...sorry, I saw the hits coming a mile away on that one.
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