poemranker ::fashion sense by crin

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Free verse № 183

fashion sense

by crin

Member since 2001 · Posted 16 Mar 2002 · 5 comments

a garden of light you gave me quite a fright hanging so high from the limbs of a tree with a pyramid eye to lead the blind above your head with your spear of destiny clutched to your chest darling where was your fashion sense you were a dove eating raw meat laughing so loud so proud of your deceit with a little devil in your mouth to polish your teeth everytime you smiled with a million christians ready to walk a mile in your shoes darling where was your fashion sense a cardboard heart taped to your sleeve you convinced us all that it could bleed with soft words and the right inflections you were such perfection you still give all the boys erections darling what happened to your fashion sense looks like you realized you never needed it

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mean 5.22 weighted 5.21 rank 4422 views 230 View voting details →

18 votes so far. Yours would make 19.18 votes so far

5 comments

[6] anonymous 20-Sep-01/2:31 PM Reply
oh so sharp and witty. biting...
[7] nentwined 16-Mar-02/1:21 AM Reply
second line jumps the rhythm on a rocky path which isn't picked up elsewhere, or rather -- I spent most of the poem trying to find the groove and not getting one. I like the sentiments of the poem greatly. :)
[6] anonymous 14-May-02/7:14 AM Reply
it's like you're trying to be something......some sort of profound something... but it only comes off as laughable.
[8] horus8 12-Jul-02/5:39 PM Reply
Excellent, my knees are bentm
[7] -=SeTTle=- 30-Jul-02/8:01 PM Reply
This could have been better stated in pa-riz-oze. 7 for effort.