| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
Parallel (Lyric) by aperfecttool77 I???d give my every last breath to her
Just so she could spread her beauty to the world
I???d take all her pain from her
Just so she would never be sad
I???d take away all her fears
Just so she would never have to cry
I???d hold her in my arms forever
Just so she would never have to be alone
I???d breathe her in
Just to keep her forever close
I???d give it all just to
I???d end it all just to
I???d do anything at all just to
Hear her say the same.
Up the ladder:
Breakfast
Down the ladder:
Warm Piss Bath
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 3.9333334
Posted: September 29, 2002 9:24 PM PDT; Last modified: September 29, 2002 9:24 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.060483 Overall Rank: 13328 Comments:
[0]
poetandknowit @ 65.101.210.251
|
30-Sep-02/11:37 AM
|
Reply
You have littered the recent list with your work. At least it reveals you revise and that will be important for this poem/lyric.
hmmmmm, well any girl that is worth all that effort... probably isnt. dump that bitch and find a nice homely girl that will treat you the way you should be treated
you have no grasp of the haiku. it can be out of the 575 and less than and rearranged. and as for your lyric well...it's not..you fail. purposely, i would hope. and quite poorly. congratulations!
135 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
