poemranker ::Parallel by aperfecttool77

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Lyric № 17992

Parallel

Member since 2002 · Posted 29 Sep 2002 · 3 comments

I???d give my every last breath to her Just so she could spread her beauty to the world I???d take all her pain from her Just so she would never be sad I???d take away all her fears Just so she would never have to cry I???d hold her in my arms forever Just so she would never have to be alone I???d breathe her in Just to keep her forever close I???d give it all just to I???d end it all just to I???d do anything at all just to Hear her say the same.

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 3.93 weighted 4.06 rank 13315 views 135 View voting details →

15 votes so far. Yours would make 16.15 votes so far

3 comments

[0] poetandknowit 30-Sep-02/11:37 AM Reply
You have littered the recent list with your work. At least it reveals you revise and that will be important for this poem/lyric.
[3] Dark Angle 5-Oct-02/12:52 AM Reply
hmmmmm, well any girl that is worth all that effort... probably isnt. dump that bitch and find a nice homely girl that will treat you the way you should be treated
[0] horus8 22-Oct-02/10:43 PM Reply
you have no grasp of the haiku. it can be out of the 575 and less than and rearranged. and as for your lyric well...it's not..you fail. purposely, i would hope. and quite poorly. congratulations!