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West Sands, late afternoon in winter (Free verse) by Nicholas Jones
I feel as if I am nowhere, As if I am the space around my own body And even that is barren. The view out to the estaury Reminds me of myself And that I am barely here - Just surrounded by Sky beach and sea. I look at my reflection In the moving waters, And laugh at the idea Of jumping in after myself.


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Arithmetic Mean: 6.0
Weighted score: 5.9525743
Overall Rank: 1362
Posted: September 27, 2002 3:27 AM PDT; Last modified: September 27, 2002 3:27 AM PDT
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Comments:
[10] Christof @ 195.172.133.226 | 27-Sep-02/3:40 AM | Reply
This is your best yet. I love the idea of barely being there, just being a space defined by the environment around you. And you end it light-heartedly. Bonza. (but a typo - 'estuary' - don't worry about it).
[n/a] Nicholas Jones @ 137.44.1.200 > Christof | 27-Sep-02/3:42 AM | Reply
I actually wrote that poem years ago and just wrote it down from memory - it was a bit different originally, I think. I'm glad you like it. It specifically refers to the beach at St. Andrews, but I don't think you need to know that.
[n/a] Nicholas Jones @ 137.44.1.200 > Christof | 27-Sep-02/3:43 AM | Reply
p.s. What does Bonza mean? I take it it's a good thing.
[10] Christof @ 195.172.133.226 > Nicholas Jones | 27-Sep-02/3:47 AM | Reply
Yes, bonza's something I picked up from the many Australians I've worked with. It means smashing, super, great etc. I think this could be any estuary - ever been to Whitstable? Very similar effects can be achieved.
[10] INTRANSIT @ 152.163.188.228 | 27-Sep-02/4:17 AM | Reply
If more people would "jump in after themselves",they'd be a lot happier. Bravo.
[7] ==Doylum @ 213.122.186.96 | 27-Sep-02/6:12 AM | Reply
Bonza dog do da band, i wouldn't go swimming at west sands. theres a problem you see with effluent tusks, especially when paddleing alone at dusk, they'd have you believe they stopped the ivory trade, and cleaned up the beaches for the tourist trade, but i've had words with SAS, who say little carvings can be found on every crest. So if you must go jumping at the end of day, just think on -it could end in a different way, choking to death on a discarded key, then old Bryn Terfel will not sing Min y Mor for thy.
[n/a] Nicholas Jones @ 137.44.1.200 > ==Doylum | 27-Sep-02/6:14 AM | Reply
I don't understand your comment, but thanks anyway. By the way, it's 'The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band', I think. They were bloody good. 'Yes I kiss her perfumed hair / But she's not there / The sweet essence of giraffe'. Things don't get much better than that.
[7] ==Doylum @ 213.122.186.96 > Nicholas Jones | 27-Sep-02/6:58 AM | Reply
Yeah but Bonza was needed cause i like the last bit of your poem
[8] knickytoy @ 24.45.19.89 | 27-Sep-02/7:07 AM | Reply
Strangely comforting for such a desolate vision. Must be the water.??
[7] god'swife @ 209.179.213.52 | 27-Sep-02/10:31 AM | Reply
This is simple but not simplistic.
[10] Lenore @ 64.252.101.15 | 27-Sep-02/11:59 AM | Reply
aren't we all nowhere and nothing and at the same time, everywhere and everything? Brilliant Paradox!
It's deep down there, very deep. 10!
[8] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 | 12-Dec-02/6:15 PM | Reply
don't! the fish haven't eaten, and sadly do to the drought the water's only 6 inches deep.t
[n/a] Ranger @ 212.219.142.161 | 13-Dec-02/4:30 AM | Reply
Hee hee hee
[n/a] deleted user @ 212.219.142.161 > Ranger | 19-Dec-02/3:36 AM | Reply
Ho Ho Ho(well it is nearly Christmas)
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