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dps

Member since 2002 · Posted 15 Sep 2002 · Edited 16 Sep 2002 · 8 comments

i look at her she is reading i look still she looks i see the ground carpe diem i remember oh captain, my captain thoughts from the back of my head will i look again will our eyes meet will my heart flutter never to try never to jump never to fly waiting before me sits such beauty still all i see is the ground

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8 comments

[9] nentwined 16-Sep-02/12:23 AM Reply

This is cute; I like the toss of "Oh captain, my captain" into the mix. The poem as a whole has a good flow/feel to it.

[6] <~> 16-Sep-02/7:30 AM Reply

look up! look up! look up! although, there is a microcosm in the ground as well. (but i do not think that that discovery is what your heart longs for here) also, what is 'dps'?

[n/a] ==Doylum › <~> 16-Sep-02/8:14 AM Reply

Digital Processing Systems? Double penetrating susan? Department of perverts and sados? Dudley public schools? Or Dead poets society?

[n/a] decadentlaurel › ==Doylum 16-Sep-02/7:30 PM Reply

dead poets soceity. i couldn't think of a name. nameless? whatever. dps is good (movie maybe not name though).

[9] nentwined 16-Sep-02/11:23 PM Reply

I don't understand how "i to look away again" fits in. I don't know what exactly you've changed, but my only stumbling block at the moment is "i to look away again"

[n/a] decadentlaurel › nentwined 16-Sep-02/11:51 PM Reply

HAHAHAH yeah i screwed up..?
sorry.

[n/a] decadentlaurel › decadentlaurel 16-Sep-02/11:53 PM Reply

ok.. hrmm. i think it went something like
yeah i changed this one and wanted to leave it alone because i didn't want to lose the original.

will i look again
will our eyes meet
will my heart flutter
never...
never...
never...

[9] New Life Drug 10-Oct-02/9:40 PM Reply

I can relate..