| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
The One (Free verse) by deval1516 I have found someone,
And he might be the one.
He dosent know,
But it will show.
The way I felt,
Made my heart melt.
He is so fine,
He blows my mind.
He is so cute,
Hes hard to boot.
If he breaks my heart,
I will fall apart.
Is he the one,
or another somone.
Up the ladder:
The Fonz Koan
Down the ladder:
Nihil Obstat
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 3.3333333
Posted: April 9, 2006 6:12 PM PDT; Last modified: April 9, 2006 6:12 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.8013287 Overall Rank: 11138 Comments:
[5]
Dovina @ 12.72.34.176
|
9-Apr-06/7:48 PM
|
Reply
Like a diary entry. Nothing wrong with the feelings you have, just that they are not expressed so as to be interesting to anyone who is not poersonally involved with the situation.
Eliminate spelling errors, and maybe make it a less cliche and this isn't half bad. *5*
117 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
