It lacks an authentic or vivid setting and tries to compensate for that shortcoming by using empty words. Consider a quick poem:

The day I lay me down to sleep
Never again to wake
I hope to see no loved ones weep
With heavy hearts that break
For I will be in heaven’s land
And sit with God above
A servant at His hand
Receiving all His love

There’s nothing wrong with my idea. I want to comfort loved ones so they do not grieve, but rather celebrate. But my poem lacks vision – what heaven might look like, for example, or how a soul feels there. There is no real setting given other than symbolic words.

nice...

So close to conjuring up great imagery - I can actually picture the setting, but it's almost entirely down to my imagination and associations of woods and nymphs. This is the sort of piece which requires a bit more on the author's behalf; give us some more scenery. What's there is good, but I'm greedy. I want more.

You don't set this up enough--it needs more context and story. Second verse is better than the first.