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Buried (Free verse) by Enkidu

For the sake of Gallantry I'll tussle in the wood And make an offering To nymphs Of condescending good There I shall unweave The very fabric Of your soul And ask the Earth To swallow us Beneath her Weathered knoll

Dovina 6-Apr-06/1:57 PM
It lacks an authentic or vivid setting and tries to compensate for that shortcoming by using empty words. Consider a quick poem:

The day I lay me down to sleep
Never again to wake
I hope to see no loved ones weep
With heavy hearts that break
For I will be in heaven’s land
And sit with God above
A servant at His hand
Receiving all His love

There’s nothing wrong with my idea. I want to comfort loved ones so they do not grieve, but rather celebrate. But my poem lacks vision – what heaven might look like, for example, or how a soul feels there. There is no real setting given other than symbolic words.




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