Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

Compassion (Free verse) by Kashi
Angels must be confused by war. Both sides praying for protection, yet someone always gets hurt. Someone dies. Someone cries so deep they lose their watery state. Angels must be confused by war. Who can they help? Who can they clarify? Whose mercy do they cast to the merciless? No modest scream can be heard. No stainless pain can be felt. All is clear to angels except in war. When I awoke to this truth it was from a dream I had last night. I saw two angels conversing in a field of children's spirits rising like silver smoke. The angels were fighting among themselves about which side was right and which was wrong. Who started the conflict? Suddenly, the angels stilled themselves like a stalled pendulum, and they shed their compassion to the rising smoke of souls who bore the watermark of war. They turned to me with those eyes from God's library, and all the pieces fallen were raised in unison, coupled like the breath of flames in a holy furnace. Nothing in war comes to destruction, but the illusion of separateness. I heard this spoken so clearly I could only write it down like a forged signature. I remember the compassion, mountainous, proportioned for the universe. I think a tiny fleck still sticks to me like gossamer threads from a spider's web. And now, when I think of war, I flick these threads to all the universe hoping they stick on others as they did me. Knitting angels and animals to the filamental grace of compassion. The reticulum of our skyward home.

Down the ladder: I'll Always Remember

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 11
.. 02
.. 01
.. 32
.. 13
.. 11
.. 10
.. 21
.. 00
.. 01
.. 21

Arithmetic Mean: 5.375
Weighted score: 5.3724904
Overall Rank: 3248
Posted: March 16, 2002 1:14 AM PST; Last modified: March 16, 2002 1:14 AM PST
View voting details
The following users have marked this poem on their favorites list:

sk8rs_rule_all

Comments:
[n/a] deleted user @ | 16-Mar-02/1:21 AM | Reply
the repetition in the first two stanzas needs to be carried through or dropped. This poem has a meandering/wandering feeling to it, like you didn't have the whole story in your mind when you sat down to write it. Angels not knowing which side is right is an old theme. You need to do something fresh with it. Last stanza is pretty good -- good images "filamental grace".
[9]... anonymous @ | 26-Jul-01/8:50 PM | Reply
Interesting ... I was confused at first, because angels were supposedly the first "beings" to entangle themselves in war. You use some fascinating imagery.
[9]... anonymous @ | 28-Jul-01/9:29 PM | Reply
this poem left me speechless......very nice
[9]... anonymous @ | 28-Jul-01/9:34 PM | Reply
this poem left me speechless......very nice
[9]... anonymous @ | 9-Aug-01/1:35 AM | Reply
Was moved by this. Some unique thoughts and images.
[9]... anonymous @ | 9-Sep-01/4:28 PM | Reply
now you make me yearn for home... divine...
[9]... anonymous @ | 14-Sep-01/9:22 PM | Reply
Immensely appropriate in current times.
[9]... anonymous @ | 5-Apr-02/7:10 AM | Reply
i like this, i like this a lot. one thing i would change: you are very wordy, take S3:

When I awoke to this truth
it was from a dream I had last night.
I saw two angels conversing in a field of children's spirits rising like silver smoke.
The angels were fighting among themselves about which side was right and which was wrong.
Who started the conflict?

way to many words! can i suggest:

I woke to truth.
It was from a dream I had.
Two angels speaking in a field of children's spirits, rising like silver.
The angels were fighting about
Which side was right,
Which was wrong.
It began with only words-
Whose words?

this poem sounds really good, just keep working on it!
[5] deleted user @ | 11-May-02/2:37 AM | Reply
I like the theme, but the language is somewhat wordy and incomprehensible in some lines.
[9]... anonymous @ 138.16.130.2 | 13-May-02/3:08 PM | Reply
Excellent idea (unique, interesting) but really far too long, for the amount actually said. Try distilling this to maybe 4 stanzas.
[9]... anonymous @ 62.254.32.4 | 19-May-02/10:48 AM | Reply
wasn't enjoying the beginning, because i don't agree.. that's not what angels are for, to HELP the outer.. imo; but then YOU GOT TO ME with the wonderful lines
"those eyes
from God's library"

"write it down like a forged signature"

"compassion, mountainous, proportioned for the universe" .. etc

all of this latter part is sheer peaks above the introduction. What happened??? rewrite the beginning .. it 's not there...
[7] Jill Stockinger @ 209.162.37.68 | 14-Jul-02/3:01 PM | Reply
Don't believe in angels or God but the poem was pretty well written.
[3] dilips_10 @ 203.197.190.94 | 20-Jul-02/3:36 AM | Reply
u assume that war is wrong... but theres nothing called right or wrong here.... esp for angels!!!
[7] Sigh'ense... @ 63.210.112.184 | 30-Jul-02/5:11 PM | Reply
it makes you think, but in my opinion( if itmatters at all) it needs more poess and exclusiveness. in other words, " it would be better if the beginning line was developed possibly or if there was more of a revelation in its conclusion, like I've gathered you were shooting for.. anywayz, maybe both would help.
just a though, Da1.and feel free to disect in contrivence over my work, i would be honored.
[n/a] Ranger @ 212.219.142.161 | 7-Jan-03/1:51 AM | Reply
A shitload of anonymous votes!
203 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001