anonymous5 Apr 2002

i like this, i like this a lot. one thing i would change: you are very wordy, take S3:

When I awoke to this truth
it was from a dream I had last night.
I saw two angels conversing in a field of children's spirits rising like silver smoke.
The angels were fighting among themselves about which side was right and which was wrong.
Who started the conflict?

way to many words! can i suggest:

I woke to truth.
It was from a dream I had.
Two angels speaking in a field of children's spirits, rising like silver.
The angels were fighting about
Which side was right,
Which was wrong.
It began with only words-
Whose words?

this poem sounds really good, just keep working on it!