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Lost Identity

Member since 2004 · Posted 16 Dec 2005 · 5 comments

I have sold myself To the critical masses. I hate it all As more and more time passes. I gave them my soul For poetic acceptance, I no longer write me Because I write their sentences. I have lost myself To a savage beast. I canât run fast enough To escape their carnivorous feast. I allowed my life To be cast into a cage, And I canât control The words on this page. Iâve read this before, Time and again; But I canât seem to find Where this nightmare ends. They control all my action As I live this intricate lie; Iâve been so caught up That I canât even cry. They ignore my pleas As I try to run, I can write no more Because my identity is gone.

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5 comments

[9] zodiac 16-Dec-05/3:19 PM Reply

Surely this isn't about us? Oh, dear. You've got us all wrong. We didn't tell you to write like this.

[n/a] wilco 16-Dec-05/3:32 PM Reply

I don't kow if this qualifies as a leaving rant...

I'm trying to figure out what this is all about..you sound as if you think that the users of Poemranker have forced you to alter your writing to a point where you don't enjoy doing it anymore..If thats the way you feel, then I'm not sure hoe it happened.

[n/a] TLRufener › wilco 16-Dec-05/4:55 PM Reply

I wrote this poem about a year ago to a magazine editor that was trying to change my style to what they wanted. This can be directed at you, if you wish it, or it can be directed to any critic in the literary world.

[7] Niphredil 17-Dec-05/6:12 AM Reply

I find the rhythm a little bit stilted.
The well-defined rhythm of these four lines:
"Iâve read this before,
Time and again;
But I canât seem to find
Where this nightmare ends."

doesn't quite seem to match the rather asymmetric last line of
"I have lost myself
To a savage beast.
I canât run fast enough
To escape their carnivorous feast."

A little fixing-up would make the poem flow more smoothly, in my opinion.

[10] sliver 19-Dec-05/12:14 AM Reply

Wow!! Well done.