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Lost Identity (Free verse) by TLRufener
I have sold myself To the critical masses. I hate it all As more and more time passes. I gave them my soul For poetic acceptance, I no longer write me Because I write their sentences. I have lost myself To a savage beast. I can’t run fast enough To escape their carnivorous feast. I allowed my life To be cast into a cage, And I can’t control The words on this page. I’ve read this before, Time and again; But I can’t seem to find Where this nightmare ends. They control all my action As I live this intricate lie; I’ve been so caught up That I can’t even cry. They ignore my pleas As I try to run, I can write no more Because my identity is gone.

Up the ladder: And on and on and on
Down the ladder: sure did

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.5
Weighted score: 5.1788044
Overall Rank: 4865
Posted: December 16, 2005 6:20 AM PST; Last modified: December 16, 2005 6:20 AM PST
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Comments:
[9] zodiac @ 69.132.67.140 | 16-Dec-05/3:19 PM | Reply
Surely this isn't about us? Oh, dear. You've got us all wrong. We didn't tell you to write like this.
[n/a] wilco @ 24.92.74.122 | 16-Dec-05/3:32 PM | Reply
I don't kow if this qualifies as a leaving rant...

I'm trying to figure out what this is all about..you sound as if you think that the users of Poemranker have forced you to alter your writing to a point where you don't enjoy doing it anymore..If thats the way you feel, then I'm not sure hoe it happened.
[n/a] TLRufener @ 140.146.216.76 > wilco | 16-Dec-05/4:55 PM | Reply
I wrote this poem about a year ago to a magazine editor that was trying to change my style to what they wanted. This can be directed at you, if you wish it, or it can be directed to any critic in the literary world.
[7] Niphredil @ 192.114.81.70 | 17-Dec-05/6:12 AM | Reply
I find the rhythm a little bit stilted.
The well-defined rhythm of these four lines:
"I’ve read this before,
Time and again;
But I can’t seem to find
Where this nightmare ends."

doesn't quite seem to match the rather asymmetric last line of
"I have lost myself
To a savage beast.
I can’t run fast enough
To escape their carnivorous feast."

A little fixing-up would make the poem flow more smoothly, in my opinion.
[10] sliver @ 172.199.242.198 | 19-Dec-05/12:14 AM | Reply
Wow!! Well done.
188 view(s)




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