| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
The United Fates Of America (Free verse) by Lenore Iron and stone are our slaves;
We are liege to marble and steel;
We go our ways through our sun filled days,
Lifting our voices in loud self-praise--
Forgetting the Fates at their wheel.
We build our bulwarks of stone,
Skyscraper and culvert and tower,
Till the man who now cowers, yet keen-nosed for power,
Topples our monuments;
In the space of a red-eyed hour.
Kings of the world are we,
With our jets of rocket speed,
Till one heart of ice, who wouldn't think twice,
Calls to us harshly to pay his high price.
We were royally screwed indeed.
Muscle and brain are our slaves;
We are liege to iron and steel;
But who shall say, tomorrow, today,
That we shall not halt on our onward way
To bow to the Fates at their wheel?
Up the ladder:
Chew your food!
Down the ladder:
Worldly Wise
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.5555553
Posted: September 3, 2002 10:29 PM PDT; Last modified: September 3, 2002 10:29 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.7777777 Overall Rank: 1722 Comments:
[8]
Christof @ 195.172.133.226
|
4-Sep-02/1:51 AM
|
Reply
It is very interesting, as an Englishman, to read an American view of America. I don't know if a lot of Americans really know how their country is viewed by a large part of the rest of the world, but this poem at least shows real awareness. All great Empires crumble eventually - it happened to Rome, it happened to Britain... The only quibble I have is that I don't think that he with the 'heart of ice', whom I take to be Osama Bin Laden, is either cold-hearted or hungry for power - I think he is extremely hot in his passions and not hungry for power for himself but rather fixated on removing the power of his enemies.
it goes frightfully beyond that christoff... unfortunately i think that you would have to shoot one of his minions(about three times) to get the total feel of the insanity a'foot. good eve.8/10
not sure if this isn't a little overblown. i think for the style, the revelations within aren't revealing enough. it doesn't seem to illuminate any hidden truth, only couches it in stilted language. and this: "We were royally screwed indeed," seems really out of place in here. strange inclusion. it's better than any poetry i could write, but i think it could say more, and simpler.
260 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
