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Worldly Wise (Other) by anitawit (16.4.84)
Ah's got a bee in mah bonnit
What nobody done, Ah dunnit
Mah feet too big fo mah shoes
Mah tongue doth wag as Ah choose
Ah got no conscience, Ah got no grieves
'Stead Ah's got somethins up mah sleeves
Ah's got no scruples of mah own
What little Ah airs, Ah's got on loan
Ah's a beast of prey, Ah hunts
Ah grabs somewhere, somewheres Ah shunts
Ah does all bad, but Ah lives in guise
Ya see, Ah's worldly wise.
Up the ladder:
The United Fates Of America
Down the ladder:
want of warmth
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.5555553
Posted: November 9, 2002 11:36 AM PST; Last modified: November 9, 2002 11:36 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.7777777 Overall Rank: 1723 Comments:
[6]
ecargo @ 64.252.67.142
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9-Nov-02/5:33 PM
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Reply
An interesting exercise in imagined dialect--"doth" in line 4 seems off; maybe "do" would better serve?
i disagree with hatters hare in that "doth"(line 4) serves very well in its locale.
I had a problem there- I think "doth" goes with the rhythm but not with the dialect.
yes, actually i hadn't thought aoubt that aspect. i suppose you are right. it doesn't fit with the dialect being used.
the ONLY word I don't thnik fits is "scruples". It seems out of character. Otherwise, I liked it a lot--a 10.
I see what you mean, any suggestions?
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