Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

Ignored (Free verse) by PK
Sometimes I feel so un-alive Like my presence does not survive I hate this feeling that is within Like my existence has already end They ignore me all the time Like my opinion is a crime I hate this feeling that lurks within Like my existence never began I cry and cry for days and weeks But still no one dares to peek Through my world to see what's wrong Or dare to think that this will last long. My heart breaks each time i speak When i realize there is no repeat Am i not loud enough to hear? Or could it be that i am just not here? I wish I could rewind the time And turn myself into a chime Loud and clear would i be heard Instead of just being misunderstood Sometimes I feel so unalive Like my presence does not survive I hate this feeling that is within Like my existence has already end

Up the ladder: Tall can of Budweiser
Down the ladder: Lines

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 01
.. 00
.. 00
.. 20
.. 10
.. 01
.. 01
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 5.571429
Weighted score: 5.153681
Overall Rank: 5182
Posted: September 2, 2002 2:24 PM PDT; Last modified: September 2, 2002 2:24 PM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[6] baltimorejay @ 198.26.122.14 | 2-Sep-02/4:26 PM | Reply
PK, very nice, I can relate
[7] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 | 2-Sep-02/4:38 PM | Reply
the missing conjunctions and past tense seeping into present....maintains the pieces dynamic...barely...7/10?
[7] New Life Drug @ 67.112.121.190 | 2-Sep-02/7:52 PM | Reply
Seems barely poem-like. More just random thoughts. As a reflection, it is good. As poetry, it is muck. Yet, I understand exactly how you feel. So 7 for you.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 217.39.165.56 | 3-Sep-02/2:53 AM | Reply
"Somtimes I feel so un-alive / Like my presence does not survive"... If that doesn't sound 'forced' then I don't know what does. "un-alive"... genius! Anyway, this whole poeme is 'forced'. "I wish I could rewind the time / And turn myself into a chime"... WTF? A chime? You want to turn into a chime? So that people will stop ignoring you? That's a bit obscure, don't you think? Just because 'chime' rhymes with 'time'. It's beak. You beak. Jesu will be very displeased when he reads this. VERY DISPLEASED.
148 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001