Transition

by INTRANSIT

Member since 2002 · Posted 18 May 2005 · 7 comments

Crane stands in downpour poke poke poke fishing for crab as sun burns through clouds.

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mean 6.00 weighted 5.12 rank 5668 views 253 View voting details →

5 votes so far. Yours would make 6.5 votes so far

7 comments

[7] deleted user 18-May-05/7:05 PM Reply

Last line is a bit of a disappointment. I know; it's a haiku. Nevertheless, nevertheless...

[n/a] INTRANSIT › deleted user 18-May-05/7:18 PM Reply

Is it a disappointment because the title is a bit of a giveaway maybe?

[7] deleted user › INTRANSIT 18-May-05/7:22 PM Reply

Ah, the title...suddenly I see it in a different light. I'll upgrade the vote

[n/a] INTRANSIT › deleted user 18-May-05/7:34 PM Reply

Not necessarily...I was originally thinking having the clouds dissipating would be better. Then I chickened out. Endings. My Achilles' heel.

[n/a] Dental Panic 18-May-05/11:56 PM Reply

I don't think haiku should have something to give away. The universe is not to be tricked. Then again, I don't have a real taste for haiku. They're a bit like sushi to me - I'll aways look around for more.

[8] Dovina 19-May-05/12:29 PM Reply

I always wondered how to get seven beats in the second line. Now I know.

[n/a] Alizarin_Crimson 20-May-05/7:55 AM Reply

Oooh....you touch my ta la la....(ooooh) my ding ding dong...