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Suicide..... (Free verse) by *.*ReAdY To SnAp*.* Yeah, I've thought about it who hasn't, Right?
You know how it goes, "I suck", "I hate my life".
Well mine is different, it ain't the same,
I get teased every day, my father is ashamed.
When I look in the mirror I see a stranger.
But, when I look in my heart I know I'm in danger.
I keep making the wrong choices, I should'nt live.
When god created me, he actually made a sin.
When I look all around me I see so much success.
But, Then I wonder to myself is it really happiness?
Everyone does everything but not for themsleves.
Stop and look at this fucking real hell.
I wonder if I did it would anyone care,
Probably not they'd just sit and stare.
I thought I was a girl with a normal life.
But obviously not look at this cife.
They say I'm to fat, to skinny, or thin,
But, I'm really not just look within.
I'm a stupid spoiled brat who gets what I want,
I think they are lieing it's probably just a taunt.
I've never had a boyfriend and I'm not sure why.
Maybe it's because all I ever do is sit and cry.
I don't know how to word it I just can't bring it out
I just wish they would give me a chance to see what I'm all about.
Well I think I have to go now the time is getting late.
I must go slit my wrists before I loose my faite.
So when I'm gone please dont cry.
Just keep me in your heart and remeber why I'm not alive.
Up the ladder:
stumbling into love
Down the ladder:
Us Sinners
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.8
Posted: February 9, 2005 1:46 PM PST; Last modified: February 9, 2005 2:08 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.095362 Overall Rank: 6122 The following users have marked this poem on their favorites list:
Comments:
[n/a]
*.*ReAdY To SnAp*.* @ 65.93.39.232
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9-Feb-05/3:26 PM
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Reply
Please Vote or leave a comment I just want to know if it is good or not to keep writing poems on here.....<:(
[n/a]
Dovina @ 12.72.5.194
> *.*ReAdY To SnAp*.*
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9-Feb-05/3:30 PM
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Reply
I did, and you deleted it. That's no way to drum up business.
[n/a]
*.*ReAdY To SnAp*.* @ 65.95.30.115
> Dovina
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9-Feb-05/5:01 PM
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Reply
I didnt delete it I deleted that poem caz it was my old one]
Ok, Ready To Snap (forgive me for not going to all the trouble of putting the stars and things in):
1) Check your spelling and punctuation before you post. It makes it hard when the reader is trying to figure out if you lost your fate or your Fiat...and exactly how you lose fate in the first place. 2) When you post poetry, you're hoping that people will read and enjoy it, right? Well, when you write about how much you hate your life and want to kill yourself, people don't enjoy it. Sure, I know it helps to write and vent your feelings. I'm just saying that noone wants to read a poem about it unless it's REALLY well worded to a point where you have to think about it to figure it out (and even then, a lot of people don't). 3) Try reading some other poetry before you write. Get an idea of how to use meter and rhyme. When you force rhymes (as you did here) it makes the poem harder to follow and basically reveals the fact that you don't know what your doing. And I don't mean search for poems with suicide in the title, or read two or three...I mean really read and comprehend and learn (and just because it's on the Poemranker Best List or has a 6 or 7 rating doesn't mean it's good.) 4) People talk shit about your poetry and say mean things because that's the way it is on Poemranker. That's as simply as I can put it. If you're going to post here, get used to it. Occasionally, you'll get an honest critique, but mostly you're going to have people call you a dunce. 5) They think this poem is awful because it is. Now, before you go getting your feelings hurt, know this: Most of the poems on here are awful, my own included. That's why we're posting them here instead of making money having them published. Maybe you'll take this and work on your writing and actually get tobe good. I hope you do. Or, maybe you'll say I'm an idiot and I'm mean and just go on posting rambling poems that get lost in the shuffle as most people do. Either way, good luck.
Thank-you very much for ths info it really does help I have never really took thought into my poems usually they just allow me to cool off but ur adivce is good thank'you i will most likely check with you next time before i put my poem up
Thats a hardcore poem baby!!!Are you really this depressed and if so why?It makes me sad to think how lonely you must be!Thank you very much for voting and reading my poem and your poem was very good also,your rhyming skills very good!!
Your Friend,Peekster!!
Thank's very much.....I try.....I loved you poem..Peace out Lindsey...
All we know
we obsessed with many things such as love and death mortality and immortality destiny and eternity some of us might find life as a sentence .." life is my agony " i shoud say the death is path of our freedom but i am still dwelling in my sadness sheding tears upon the darkness grasping the hands of lonliness and murmuring the words of emptiness 221 view(s)
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