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Interstellar Hell (Other) by PsydewaysTears
Falling stars trickle down my cheek Outlining a damaged physique. They're blinding to the untrained eye But I've learned to black out the sky. My black hole beats an angry rage, Good thing I keep it in its cage. Last time I let it out to play It sucked the sunshine out of day. I wander over Saturn's Rings Thinking I've got a hold on things... But every night at ten to three, Lack of air catches up with me. My Interstellar Hell will swell Until I bid a fond farewell, To falling for the silver gleam; And living life like it's a dream.

Up the ladder: exploration of entirety
Down the ladder: Three Skinheads

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 6.285714
Weighted score: 5.345782
Overall Rank: 3432
Posted: December 19, 2004 8:45 PM PST; Last modified: December 19, 2004 8:45 PM PST
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[5] Dovina @ | 20-Dec-04/12:17 PM | Reply
A weak idea, weakly developed. This is not your best. The rhymes do not help. As much as I've criticized your vagueness, I'd rather have it over this.
[n/a] PsydewaysTears @ > Dovina | 20-Dec-04/3:37 PM | Reply
My stab at this would be something along the lines of, "I'm living my life thinking I have control over my emotions and that I can just black out the parts that depress me and then that's that, but eventually enough becomes enough and the ulterior world I've created to live in kicks me out and I'm forced to actually confront reality like it actually does effect me." I like it, because to me... it makes worlds of sense in more ways than one.

•°•Gregory James•°•
[5] Dovina @ > PsydewaysTears | 20-Dec-04/3:55 PM | Reply
Looking at it that way, and reading it again, it makes more sense. But unless the poem is part of a series where readers already know some things about you, you cannot expect us to pick that up from this poem alone.
[n/a] PsydewaysTears @ > Dovina | 20-Dec-04/4:22 PM | Reply
Well I'll always be here for clarification, and it doesn't hurt my feelings to have to start up a few hundred writer-reader relationships. I'm actually honored to have my opinion sought after and maybe even, god forbid, valued. But I also wouldn't dream of stealing away any conclusions somebody might draw up for themselves, to me the magic poetry creates is relative to mind open enough to make its message their own.

•°•Gregory James•°•
[n/a] wFraser Allonby Q.C.w @ > PsydewaysTears | 21-Dec-04/8:21 AM | Reply
[n/a] PsydewaysTears @ > wFraser Allonby Q.C.w | 22-Dec-04/12:30 AM | Reply
[8] Beyond_Dreams @ | 20-Dec-04/9:48 PM | Reply
I thought this poem portrayed the meaning very well....It's pretty obvious you're talking about your feelings, 'But I've learned to black out the sky'--Meaning you are holding back and forgetting, almost like one pushes into the darkness of their mind "pain".
This is how I found the poem to be...Maybe a little easily read for me. I mean it has a nice forefront but the inner being of it has been said a million times by other poets. The idea wasn't very original.

Over all though I liked it
[7] Bhaskaryya @ | 21-Dec-04/11:29 PM | Reply
Nice work. Above the "Average".
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