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!!! (Free verse) by Jezabele-In-Hell Every time I think of you
A tear rolls down my cheek
When I think of what could have been
A tear rolls down my cheek
When I go to sleep at night
A tear rolls down my cheek
I cannot get you out of my head
For I believe you are my true love
And knowing it will never be sends
A tear rolling down my cheek
Up the ladder:
Pyrrhus smoked the sun
Down the ladder:
Ben Fogle
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.714286
Posted: October 7, 2004 8:58 PM PDT; Last modified: October 7, 2004 8:58 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.729984 Overall Rank: 1852 Comments:
[9]
BleedingRose @ 24.164.62.49
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13-Oct-04/9:52 PM
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Reply
The style of this poem is such that I enjoy reading and often write myself. I vote 9 not because it is imperfect in structure, which I believe only adds to it's effect and value, but because I would not dare give it the extremest approval untill I have seen more of your works and had a chance to compare thier worth. Furthermore, knowing you personally as I do, I am left curious and somewhat hopefull of the discovery of the one you speak of.
This is a disastrous attempt at poetry. It is among the worst I have ever read. The subject couldn't be less original, and the way you have written about it is utterly unremarkable. Your work is completely devoid of alliteration, simile, reification or any such literary devices. It is devoid of rhyme, devoid of imagery, and devoid of punctuation. The language used is whoppingly dull, and the overriding impression it gives is one of unbelievable mindlessness. The arbitrary line breaks and use of repetition are the only things that separate this bulgingly stupid dumpling from a blob of prose. Congratulations! -10-
get out of my head!
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