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Southern Mississippii Standstill (Other) by wilco Arms draped like willows,
Althea caught the sunbeams
laughing at the tide.
She chased them across
wide fields of ecru grasses
until the stars grew.
When they turned their shine
away from her smiling face,
fireflies were left.
Eyes closed like cave-ins,
Althea caught the sunbeams
falling across dreams.
Up the ladder:
A dream of a fruit-gun
Down the ladder:
Thin Blood
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 8.3
Posted: July 16, 2004 1:07 PM PDT; Last modified: July 16, 2004 1:07 PM PDTWeighted score: 6.65 Overall Rank: 557 Comments:
[9]
richa @ 81.178.242.35
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16-Jul-04/1:32 PM
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Reply
Very pretty, like the feign of line two to three on the first verse. No need for full stops after each verse.
Very sensual, pleasing.
When I think of southern USA, I imagine swamps and those boats that look a bit like hovercrafts, and men with dungarees and pitchforks and pigs under their arms. And also of Lynyrd Skynyrd. Maybe you should work these things into your poem.
That's exactly how it is down here. Except you forgot about the guy in the overalls playing banjo on the steps of the general store. We also like to sleep with our relatives, go to Klan rallies and drink moonshine.
And listen to ZZ Top. And Johnny Rebel.
And you are policed by two vigilantes who drive round in an orange car called "the General Lee."
The Southern US is exactly like Jordan, which is exactly like Northern Mexico, which is actually like any Northern UK mining town or any town at all in Wales.
don't like cave-ins. Still, enjoyable.
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