Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

The Gray Idea (Free verse) by Doug
Crawling- forever slowly toward the womb, thickets of torper block our path, so we drudge through the thorns- to perception. Struggling- blindly- with Fate and Time, often strangled by hands of chance(and clocks) all the while kicking against together. Breathing- faint thin air of substance, a stillness reveals the feeble wheezing of removal, and between our breath and the Hope of real- lies the gray idea of a phantom.

Up the ladder: Tomorrow
Down the ladder: Life

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 11
.. 00
.. 00
.. 01
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 40

Arithmetic Mean: 3.857143
Weighted score: 4.6926384
Overall Rank: 12043
Posted: June 11, 2004 11:45 AM PDT; Last modified: June 11, 2004 11:45 AM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[0] Shardik @ 24.130.62.63 | 11-Jun-04/3:32 PM | Reply
A shitaco with extra snips of shredded ass.
[n/a] Doug @ 205.188.117.6 > Shardik | 11-Jun-04/5:55 PM | Reply
Sharpdick you are a brilliant critic,I love your comments!Even thought they are a sad rebellion against your latent homo-sexuality,please try to be more graphic next time.Thank you very little.
[0] Shardik @ 24.130.62.63 | 11-Jun-04/6:01 PM | Reply
I never contested my well fluffed homosexuality,
and if anything it adds more perfume to when I
state your work as being a crackling homerun of shit
[n/a] Doug @ 205.188.117.6 > Shardik | 11-Jun-04/6:11 PM | Reply
Sharpdick you are a hilarious asshole keep em' cuming!
Besides my "work" took all of five minutes,so I doubt it's work
compared to your sad ramblings of longed for anal penetration!
[n/a] zodiac @ 65.161.41.48 > Doug | 11-Jun-04/10:52 PM | Reply
"I wrote this poem in X minutes, therefore its immune to your criticism" is the buncombe dodge of an inverterate guffer.
[0] god'swife @ 4.232.108.217 | 11-Jun-04/7:38 PM | Reply
wow, this is amazing!!!

'Struggling...strangled by hands of chance(and clocks)'

You're so insightful, you know, you really have your thumb on the pulse of life.

I especially like the way you capitalized Fate and Time, really drives the message home.

Welcome to poemranker! :)
[n/a] Doug @ 205.188.117.6 > god'swife | 11-Jun-04/7:42 PM | Reply
Your so clever"god'swife" I wish you lived next door!
[n/a] zodiac @ 65.161.41.48 > Doug | 11-Jun-04/10:21 PM | Reply
Are you a great ape trained to roughly approximate human typing?
[n/a] pain killer @ 217.159.74.253 > zodiac | 12-Jun-04/11:20 AM | Reply
note the emphasis walter zodiac places on "roughly"

oh you wish big boy, you wish
[n/a] Doug @ 205.188.117.6 > god'swife | 11-Jun-04/7:50 PM | Reply
My ego almost said thanks.
[0] horus8 @ 24.130.62.102 | 11-Sep-04/2:16 PM | Reply
A shit sandwich, hold the bread.
249 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001