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20 most recent comments by THE GOD OF DEATH
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Re: vent tent by Crakyamuni 5-Mar-03/1:49 AM
Creative use of rhyme... but also maybe a problem? Rhyme can be troublesome when it comes to serious poetry. But I do like your rhymes... creative. You might want to look at the continuity of your explitives. They should be somewhat close in length, but your first one is longer than the others.
regarding some deleted poem... 5-Mar-03/1:51 AM
Question: why not capitalize Leader and Winner if you capitalized hero? *shrug* a thought. You might want to try some continuity between your stanzas and lines. Rhymes are a bit over used. I think you can be more creative than using the obvious ones. And you might want to change your title... that's twice in a row "A Hero" appears.
Re: The Drunkest ever by horus8 5-Mar-03/1:58 AM
Ok... overall pretty good. Creative rhymes and some really good description. But... if you're gonna use meter, be consistent. If you read it, you expect some more meter. Then again, it could be part of your theme. *shrug* Some of the rhymes are good but too clustered. It's just too much to absorb. The continuity of rhyme and rhythm aren't there but work well where employed. And again, continuity with punctuation is kinda questionable.
Re: untitled by betty 8-Mar-03/2:47 AM
I love it. Good use of ending words for each line. I like the words: rendered, enamoured, caputurings. Nice use of verbs. Overall, succinct, and highly personal at the same time.


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