awkward.. too much metaphor ruins the mood.

I like it, it's airy, it's free, it's sweet..

beg pardon? I liked the imagery until I got to the emerald.. what's the point? that an emerald is the key to your happiness? if that's so, you're just demonstrating the worst shallowness I've evern seen..

struck me as a little long for one point.. I got your idea in the first verse.

love it.. quiet table is a terrific bit, very expressively minimalistic

reminds me of Quentin in Sound & Fury, coincedence? I'd be interested to know.. anyway, with that in mind, I like it.. without, it leaves me unsatisfied, not enough on the underlying subject matter.. well written though, very vivid

hrrm.. a stalker poem. unfortunately adolescent.

After reading many of your poems, I begin to wonder if you actually have anything to say and contribute, or just little attempts at comic exposition..

two things, one, this goes nowhere.. Personally, I feel that a poem that does nothing but raise questions deserves answers.. secondly, put away the thesauraus.. This has potential, though

Love the beginning, love the ending, hate the 'dart of awareness'..

You have said everything I've been thinking of late. :)

Well said. you've created a solid image

I'm torn by this one. swearing in a poem for shock value, to me, is pitiful, unless your aim is to make a statement, which you avoided here.. you're attempt to be clever at the end, however, has me amused.. hence, I'm torn between hating this and being mildly amused by it

hrrm.. hated it till I got to the last stanza.. reread it and it's not so bad. :)