Re: Darker Days by oneglove	27-Mar-06/10:43 PM
Once I read this poem a couple of times & also read the other comments on it, I see, I see. Very metaphorical, very well thought-out...like a heist or "murder scene" even. A great read none-the-less with deep metaphor, dramatic theme, words that grab, short but punctual. Emily Dickinson style. Great read!
Re: a comment on Blue Gravity by Sunny	27-Mar-06/1:22 PM
Thank you Dovina for not only reading my work, but giving me your honest critique as well. A little confusion though to clear up for possible upcoming readers & yourself in clarity in beginning of S2: "I push the blue gravity/ not down through my feet, but forced upon these bones/ that could crumble me apart with a hard and gentle hand…"> Meaning: Picture gravity pulling people down to earth through (or pulling the feet) as a "natural gravitational pull." I disembody this natural foot-to-earth pull not through my feet, but surrounding/ covering all the bones that substain me, which could be so much force as to, "...crumble me apart...". I do not mean for reader to interpret anything or anyone, other than gravity's pull, to be "underneath me". I'm trying to personify gravity with hands that for once, don't pull me down through my feet but to use it's untouchable, inevitable force to surround my skeleton & suppress in inwards. Strange imagery I failed at portraying; thank you-I will make revisions to clarify this unseen imagery...or try at least :)
Re: Christ At The Oscars by Caducus	27-Mar-06/11:48 AM
Great poem!! Powerful theme that will smack any unassuming reader across the face. Tactful wording. Well thought-out. On a personal note: I am a guiltly audience member, glorifying the mere middle-man & not the prince. How ignorant mankind can be. Thank you personally for the slap.
Re: Dust by Caducus	27-Mar-06/11:42 AM
This self ode for when death comes knocking at YOUR door, by my interpretation anyway. S1, L2-I don't believe to be necessary to your theme; if love is one of your main themes in this poem, it is not brought out strong enough to be noticed, so this line seems to come from nowhere. The rest of this stanza however, introduces your theme quite accurately. S2 is brilliant in meaning & very touching. In S3, you bring out many good lines & keep steady with the theme, which is pertinent for your reader...for instance I thought L1 & L2 in S3 have powerful clarity for your final "wishes", which will overall deeply touch the reader. I liked your theme but might recommend using more poetical elements, such as imagery, metaphor, detail & not so much generalization. Crystal clear theme though.