| Re: a comment on meeting her gaze by digipoet |
18-Apr-06/3:19 PM |
thanks for the comments ... it is supposed to be a humorous piece about not being able to get it up. I did overuse "face" in the poem. The "parcels" of your face is not about computers or technology, but suggests that a face can carry a range of weighty messages. The subject of the poem is happy that condemnation is not one of these messages, but remains humiliated.
Maybe three stanzas would be better:
the parcels of
your face i see
reflect no condemnation
my meager rise
its ceiling low
falls short of inspiration
can Icarus
spectacular
survive humiliation
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| Re: talkstupid by 7!3 |
18-Apr-06/12:16 AM |
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| Re: a comment on metadata by digipoet |
13-Apr-06/10:29 AM |
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It is actually metadata from a moment in time (01/01/00) - perhaps I need to make this more clear
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| Re: He Kissed Me by PoeticXTC |
9-Jan-06/9:00 PM |
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i like it the emotion is strong i'd maybe cut the last two stanzas though.
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| Re: a comment on portrait of powerlessness by digipoet |
9-Jan-06/8:55 PM |
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hmmm i already took off the line "why did you render me thus" but i can see your point too! thx
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| Re: a comment on floss every day by digipoet |
9-Jan-06/7:20 PM |
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| Re: a comment on floss every day by digipoet |
9-Jan-06/7:19 PM |
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rest assured the intent is decidedly sarcastic. :) thx for the comment.
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| Re: a comment on portrait of powerlessness by digipoet |
9-Jan-06/7:15 PM |
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hmmm. no i don't maybe I should though I'll check out her poems.
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| Re: a comment on portrait of powerlessness by digipoet |
9-Jan-06/7:14 PM |
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yeah it retrospect i agree the last line is kind of pointless...i guess i thought it was needed to emphasize the others actions towards the subject but it is already clear enough. thx.
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