Re: Bach by Rodavlas	10-Jul-04/7:23 PM
Line 2 doesn't seem to jive with line 1, unless it's a gut feeling about Bach's music. Line 5: no one. Bach's music is quite mathematical in how it sounds, and doesn't usually call up a "tender face" or "serenity and grace."
regarding some deleted poem...	11-Jul-04/8:29 AM
Verse 2 is great, and says it all. The rest could use some shrinking.
regarding some deleted poem...	11-Jul-04/8:32 AM
I like a Christian statement that is free from Christian jargon, and this mostly is.
regarding some deleted poem...	11-Jul-04/8:35 AM
Last 5 lines are great. I don't get the heaven/gasoline line.
regarding some deleted poem...	11-Jul-04/8:49 AM
Now you've done it! Entered the controversial realm of stirring up conflict. I see what you're saying, like the way you say it, and think it's crap. And now I do predict you'll get your comments. I hope the votes will, like mine, be based on how the poem is written, rather than on my opinion of what it says.
Re: Searching by dougsoderstrom	11-Jul-04/11:40 AM
True, but why do you search for an answer unsought?
Re: Zin/Enough/Things/Squeeze/Flow by gregsamsa222	12-Jul-04/10:17 AM
Too long, couldn't get through it, sorry
Re: Vows by QuirkyWonder	12-Jul-04/10:19 AM
The last three lines don't make sense. cliches abound. Try for originality.
Re: Zin/Enough/Things/Squeeze/Flow by gregsamsa222	12-Jul-04/10:58 AM
The last section "Flow" is absolutely great. I wonder why you placed the three days after death in reverse order. They seem better chronologically. I see the year before death as good at the end though. Why the indented form on just one section? And the long lines in just one section? It seems better to hold the short-line form throughout. You will not receive the attention you deserve on poemranker with poems this long. The last section, in particular, could stand alone. "He clutched it by the throat,"
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Jul-04/10:06 AM
Stay! Please don't go. The cool woods of the northeast in July, what could be finer, not Carolina. "The mountain slips by" The Old Man slips off his perch. Let's glue him back together like humpty-dumpty.
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Jul-04/10:09 AM
No doubt a take on the recent arguement about indentation and spacing. In this case space is everything.
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Jul-04/10:38 AM
I come away with a good feeling about this without much in the way of logical connections. Much of poetry is about how we feel rather than how we understand, and the blank space adds to the feeling. I also write notes to myself about the pigeons walk and such.
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Jul-04/12:11 PM
Is it a sorry waste? Do the greyhounds race again? I’m not good with greyhounds and Chevys, racing and all. If this were about the wind, I'd have a better grasp of the subject matter. But I like the sound of howling dogs and mournful words blowing around in this poem.
Re: Drinking Knowledge by gregsamsa222	13-Jul-04/1:06 PM
Poetry takes vino, vinegar and caster oil.
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Jul-04/1:45 PM
Hammer and chisel comment: I liked it better before. Why the quotes (')? I'm with you up to "be trapped by the length of a sculptor's arm to his stone."
regarding some deleted poem...	14-Jul-04/10:16 AM
It's a good expression of something we've all experienced, but stretching it out over all these lines and blank lines only makes it less effective.
regarding some deleted poem...	14-Jul-04/10:17 AM
This isn't nearly as good as your first post.
Re: Someday by moonlightdance	14-Jul-04/10:29 AM
Verses 1 and 2 good. Verse 3 weak. Verse 4 doesn't make sense.
regarding some deleted poem...	15-Jul-04/11:08 AM
Good, but I fail to see how the choppy line divisions add anything to the impact. A well-expressed thought.
regarding some deleted poem...	15-Jul-04/11:27 AM
I like not knowing who created whom in the first few verses. Man creating god in his image kinda thing. Then it seems the ALL CAPS one is god. Then toward the end, (lower case) seems calling god Pencil Child. It's a blggle of uncertainty, which this whole issue is about, and seems centered on the line, "definitions come easy to definers." Second to last line, how about, YOU WILL NOT. THE LAST WORD.